Lifeless Eyes
by Rel-Fakih
Summary: Where the Naruto is a voluntary mute, scarred by stares of hatred; where Sasuke can't stop remembering the past through visions of blood; where the world is a darker place than it's made out to be.
1. Get out of my Team

**A/N: I'm gonna glaze over the Mizuki betrayal scene, since it's been played and overused, and that's going to stay canon.**

 **I'm not trying to bash Sakura. She's just going to be pretty bad right now. Don't worry, it'll get better. I avoid bashing in everything in general. Everyone has their downfalls.**

Chapter 1

Get Out of my Team

With each tick of the clock, Naruto snapped his leg back against his bed. He heard dripping coming from the faucet in the bathroom- it was unfixable so he put a bucket underneath to collect the water. It didn't line up with the ticking of the clock. Sometimes it would come too early, sometimes too late, but occasionally it'd come right on time and line up unanimously. He savored those moments, snapping his leg harder to line up all the noises. Again, everything lined up, he banged his leg harder. "Shut up you fucking brat," he heard from underneath him. It'd be unsavory to bother his neighbors. Naruto nodded and let his legs fall, but it wasn't quite as entertaining as matching the rhythm of his legs to the ambient noises of his apartment.

He laid back onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. There was nothing to do. He had no one to play with, no one to talk to, no one to even annoy. Every day he came home from the academy without any idea of what his life was for. Sometimes he would go out and punch a wooden post for an hour, until his knuckles bled all over the rope tied around it, until his arms burned and ached from strain, and his back creaked and groaned in pain. Other times he would just go home and eat some comfort ramen, the delicious salty noodles always filling a part of him nothing else could. But forever, forever Naruto would take care of his beautiful plants that grew around his house. He had so many, because they gave him purpose. He knew he was bringing life into the world, allowing it to grow and flourish underneath his hands, and he kept detailed schedules about which plant needed to be watered on what day, and that was the most organization he had. When he was all done watering plants, there was nothing else to do.

* * *

Naruto had taken to reading. Fantasy. Fantasy in particular. He dreamed of becoming a ninja, one that was so powerful that no one could dare stare angrily at him without running the risk of getting beat up. He watched loud heroes and heroins unabashedly yell at their villains and pull out legendary swords to defeat them. It became his next favorite activity. He had started reading when he was taught henge, and partially transformed his hair brown and the birthmarks off his cheeks. He hadn't fully mastered the jutsu, but as soon as he was taught it he realized that he could escape being a brat or demon spawn. He walked into the library for the first time, excited to read a little. He found a children's book for kids who were less than age and started reading, finding himself enraptured with the humans turning into animals to fight off aliens.

From there, he advanced his reading, read faster, found himself having something to do after classes. Without friends, without family, he could manage. He smiled as the hero pulled out the legendary sword from the rock, and became the king. Yeah, the king. He liked that. He liked that everyone doubted the boy too, and that he was a little weakling who knew many bullies. He liked that the little boy in the story had gained power so quickly.

He would show them. The ones who underestimated him. But he looked back up at the classroom. He heard the ticking of the clock. He looked around at the students concentrated on their work, the way they took notes. Some of them weren't taking notes. Shikamaru was sleeping as always. Naruto looked back up at Iruka-sensei who was lecturing on shinobi wars in the past. Ants trailed across the classroom. He heard the familiar dripping. He put his hands on the worn desk.

Sakura was yelling at him again because of his seating arrangement. He was sitting next to the only child who could possibly, maybe, in this whole huge world, maybe just relate to him a little bit. The boy had lost his parents long ago. The boy looked like a hawk, perched over, observing the class with hard eyes. What was so beautiful about this boy? He looked broken, dead, despondent, unable to gather any amount of care to even say a single word. Naruto felt this connection- they were both numb. He looked over at the boy again, Naruto could not find it in himself to subject this boy to someone who wanted to tear him apart. Someone who only saw the sickly porcelain skin and lifeless eyes. He turned to Sakura and shook his head. He would not move. The boy would shatter if subjected to any sort of pain.

Sakura raised her hand to hit him in the head. Naruto let her fist slam down, causing pain to shock through his body. He saw it coming. He knew he couldn't reach up and block in time. She huffed and sat down next to Naruto. Naruto would protect the boy. He ignored the thrumming pain echoing from his head. He felt proud. He may not have saved a world of people, pulled a sword out of a stone, but he saved a boy from breaking. He turned to look at the boy whom of which he protected.

The boy turned to look at Naruto. His eyes seemed to be a little less flat, a little more relieved.

Is that how being a hero feels?

The corners of his lips were tilted upwards.

* * *

When Mizuki offered him a make-up test, Naruto nodded. Yes, he would like to pass. As instructed, he stole the forbidden scroll

When it came time for him to realize that he had been betrayed, "You're the nine-tailed fox!"

Naruto stared at Mizuki. He cocked his head at him. So why did that matter? Naruto continued saying nothing. Why did it matter?

When Iruka's life was in danger, Naruto used the technique he had learned from the scroll. His clones easily defeated Mizuki. Naruto helped Iruka up. Look. He was a hero. He even earned his forehead protector from his teacher.

* * *

 _We need to get Sakura off of the team,_ Naruto wrote to Sasuke. Sakura was glaring at the two of them from a different seat.

Sasuke was surprised, he had never been approached directly from Naruto. His eyes widened.

Sasuke wrote back, _We need Hinata on the team, she's a better ninja and she doesn't have meaningless crushes._

 _You bring it up, I'll convince the teacher with logic._

 _What logic?_

 _I thought you'd have something._

 _Say love interest interferes with the missions._ Sasuke seemed pleased with his idea. Naruto thought about it. He continued to think of a way to word a logical sentence to get Sakura off the team.

He had plenty of time because their sensei walked in and stared at them an hour later. "Meet on the roof in five minuets," he said, than disappeared.

They all took the stairs.

"Alright introduce yourselves, you first blondie,"

Naruto stared at their Jonin-sensei who was three hours late.

"Sensei- shouldn't you introduce yourself first?" Sakura inturrupted. She was sitting next to Naruto- reluctantly. Naruto would never let her sit next to Sasuke.

"Oh, yeah. My name is Hatake Kakashi, I have some likes and dislikes, I've got a lot of hobbies, and I don't have any dreams," the now introduced as Kakashi said. He pointed at Naruto. Naruto continued to stare at him.

"Sensei," Sasuke interrupted.

"Yes?" Kakashi asked reeling around to look at the Uchiha. He seemed determined to get an introduction from Naruto to keep pointing at him.

"Naruto doesn't talk," he said.

Sakura seemed to not know this, and turned to the quiet boy. Naruto knew exactly what was going through her mind. She had hit him every single day for sitting next to Sasuke, and he had done nothing but shook his head at her. He knew she thought that he spoke, but he knew she couldn't recall a time when he did speak to her. All of his sensei never picked on him anyways. The first time he had been picked on was in Iruka's class- where Naruto handed his teacher a written answer. Iruka looked surprised, but after a written explanation that Naruto simply did not speak, Iruka refrained from picking on him so that Naruto could live his life in the silence he so desired.

"Interesting," Kakashi scratched his chin, "can you introduce him for him?"

"Can I introduce him for him?" Sakura had a brilliant idea to be funny. Kakashi shrugged. She started, "My name is the idiot Uzumaki Naruto, I graduated dead last of my class, I like annoying Sakura, and I dislike her. I dream to graduate my stupid status," she started giggled.

Kakashi gave her an eye smile, but he didn't seem to find anything funny.

"Well, if Sakura introduced Naruto, can I introduce Sakura?" Sasuke smirked.

Sakura widened her eyes to know that her gorgeous future husband was going to introduce her.

"My name is Hanaro Sakura. I'm annoying, I have no talents outside of studying, and I like stalking Uchiha Sasuke and hitting people because I have no friends and nothing better to do. I dislike when Sasuke doesn't want to sit next to me which is _all the time."_

Sakura looked like she had been slapped in the face. Tears started leaking out of her eyes, she wanted to deny the truth, the fact Uchiha Sasuke found her annoying was unbearable.

"Naruto this is all because of you!" she stood up, crying.

"Why don't we stick to introducing ourselves?" Kakashi thought that the team was already a disaster.

"I would like to request Hyuuga Hinata for our team instead of Sakura,"

"We can't just split up tea-" Kakashi began to say. Naruto handed Kakashi a slip of paper.

 _It would be foolish to have a love interest on the team, it would make it dangerous to go on more dangerous missions, because someone might abandon the goal for a chance to impress or do something extremely stupid that might cost lives. Please reconsider._

"Well..." Kakashi couldn't deny that logic.

Naruto flipped the page of his tiny notebook.

 _If she took the spot on Kurenai-sensei's team, she could learn much better without a constant distraction, and also have a strong kunochi to look up to who doesn't let love interest get in the way of training, and also with Sakura's limited chakra reserves, she would make an excellent genjutsu master._

They had paid attention when the other sensei took away their kids, which one Hinata was on. Each had told the kids their specialties, and walked off. Hinata was well desired as a serious kunochi. She, like Sasuke and Naruto, seemed to have no life to their eyes. They liked it. They preferred it.

"Well..." Kakashi drew out his words, "on one condition."

"Yes?" Sasuke asked in anticipation. Sakura pulled up her knees to her face to hide her crying.

"Work together for a month. And try to work together, don't just pretend to. But first you must all pass my test,"

* * *

They passed because Naruto fed Sakura.

 _We're supposed to be working together genuinely, right?_


	2. Finding Irony in Beauty

**A/N: Game of Thrones style fic.** **I'm not using honorifics. But I will use -sensei instead of teacher. Sensei works because it's proper, like Mr. Anderson.**

 **kunochi=female ninja**

 **shinobi=male and/or female ninja**

Chapter 2

Finding Irony in Beauty

Sasuke had another vision. He threw his kunai at the targets, landing every single one. But with that thump, his mind flashed into a vision of Itachi thumping a kunai into a human body. Blood splattered out of the unknown Uchiha's back, and the thump of a kunai became unanimous to the thump of his body hitting the ground. And the thump of the kunai became unanimous to the many other bodies thumping against the ground, _thump thump, they dropped like flies. Their sick, mangled bodies lay atop each other bloodied and dying and still dying. Nothing could save them, not even my woeful sword or dagger. I sliced through my brothers, sisters, my cousins, they bled, coughed onto me, begged for forgiveness, wondering what they had done._

 _What I would give to erase that part of me, my sins, and the worst of all of my little brother. The baby I grew up with, his huge, innocent eyes baring into my soul- they were unforgiving. I took my kunai and pressed it_ into his flesh- red beads dripped across his arm and into the ground. Sasuke did not enjoy cutting himself. He did not consider himself a romantically tragic case of suicidal tendencies, but very much like killer intent, the only way to bring himself out of his foggy visions of the past was an anchor. Pain was an anchor. Sasuke took the kunai half dipped in his blood and threw it against the target- _thump._

* * *

Their efforts to kick Sakura off of the team had worsened her behavior, giving all the more reason for Kakashi to reconsider team arrangements. Although she seemed a little bit more quiet after Sasuke rejected her terribly, she made a bigger effort to impress him. They went onto their first mission. Sakura carried a pretty pink purse with her. Their client, a little old lady, glared at Naruto as they pulled weeds out of the ground. Naruto seemed oblivious to her irritating stare, but Sasuke knew he noticed. Sasuke fidgeted uncomfortably every single time her eyes landed on Naruto.

Sakura tried her hardest not to get her dress dirty, and any speck of dirt that happened to land on her dress took what felt like hours to brush off. She tried not to get on her hands and knees. She tried not to get on her curly hair that fell in a gorgeous pink tumble down her back. She fluttered her mascara covered eyelashes with every time she glanced at Sasuke. He noticed a fine line of eye-shadow, it made her eyes look larger and more starry, and he could smell the strawberry perfume exuding from her body. Her soft features were light, and with every breath her chest rose a little, and it was cute.

Although he noticed all of these things, Sasuke was disinterested in forming relationships. He yanked out another weed with viciousness, and purposefully threw the weed close enough to her it posed a danger of defiling her gorgeous clothing. He hated her beauty. He despised her femininity. Kunochi were strong, like his mother. She was someone who wasn't afraid of getting dirty. Someone who could come back covered in blood and dirt, with her hair a wild tangle, and her eyes wide and alert. Sasuke admired the ninja his mother had become. Because she was not in charge of running the clan, she had time for training, she was stronger than his father, she was an unstoppable rock. Before his brother had taken everything away. Sasuke curled his hand around a weed, and clenched his teeth, until his life had been shattered by the vile monster who he _almost imagined having grief for his actions._

Sasuke desperately wanted to punch Sakura and scream at her. _My brother took away a strong kunochi who had a purpose in life. Someone who was not bound to the earth by her love. It was a love formed out of independence._ He imagined bashing Sakura's head into the ground until her curly hair was matted with blood and dirt, and her eyes were wide with terror. He wanted to tear her dress into shreds and dig a kunai into her pale, smooth skin until blood covered her whole body, and her voice would start to scream but he would cut out her tongue. He would love nothing more than to slice her cheeks until she was forced to smile at him forever and it would say _I'm happy you did this to me._

Sakura did notice Sasuke looking at her, and fluttered her eyelashes at him. Her green eyes were pale turquoise like a clean, deep, ocean. He would pluck out those eyelashes one by one, and smile as he gouged out her eyeballs with a spoon. He smirked. Sakura blushed.

The old woman came out with cookies and lemonade, interrupting their moment of kindness, "For your efforts, thank you so much for doing this for me dearies. Ever since my son died," she looked pointedly at Naruto and paused her dialogue, "I haven't had anyone to pull the weeds for me. You know, my back."

Sakura's face fell sadly, "I'm so sorry for your loss."

Sasuke felt uncomfortable again. Was Naruto partly responsible for the death of this old lady's son?

"Please have some food, a fifteen minuet break," the lady smiled at Kakashi, Sasuke and Sakura, but pretended not to see Naruto. She pulled out three chairs and poured three cups of lemonade, handing each cup consecutively to everyone but Naruto. Kakashi immediately gave his cup to Naruto. Naruto didn't say anything, and took the cup with him to the garden. He continued pulling weeds. Sasuke noticed him dumping the lemonade out into the garden. No one else saw.

Sasuke said, "Thank you." He took the cup and followed Naruto, ignoring the fragrance of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. He drank his lemonade.

He heard the old lady say, "What's a beautiful girl like you doing with a boy like him?"

"Oh, Sasuke?" she started, "Sasuke is great, he's a sweet, kind, boy who always helps."

Sasuke continued pulling weeds, and snorted when Sakura said this. Naruto was concentrating his face not to smile.

"No I mean the _other_ boy," the lady said.

"Oh, he's just on my team," Sakura said.

"Take my word for it, you should stay away from him," the lady whispered as loud as someone could whisper.

"Yes ma'am," Sakura said, though Sasuke could hear the confusion in her voice.

"You look too pretty to be a ninja," the lady said as a compliment.

Sakura laughed. Sasuke almost stopped pulling weeds. Something was seriously wrong with Sakura, he hoped that she didn't join the academy just to chase after him. To be fair, she did join the academy before she knew of him, but at the same time it was revolting the way she acted like a helpless little girl. In a way she was a helpless little girl.

"These cookies are delicious, thank you so much for them, I'll take some in my purse for Sasuke too,"

 _Why on earth would Sakura bring around something as unconventional as a purse anyways?_ Sasuke looked up at Naruto, wondering if he was thinking the same thing. Naruto was face down on the ground, dirt matted his blonde hair. _What kind of ninja is this..._ Sasuke assumed it was from laughter.

"Alright Sakura," Kakashi said, his voice was hesitant, "time to get back to work."

"Of course Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said sweetly.

"That girl is really beautiful, she's going to have boys running after her when she gets older," the lady said to Kakashi.

"Maa, she will be able to defend herself from them," Kakashi was obviously depending on the fact that Sakura had passed with more than just academics alone. At this point, Sasuke doubted it, but he knew Sakura had to be decent at taijutsu if she was going to pass with one of the highest kunochi grades.

Well actually it didn't make sense, were kunochi tested differently than male shinobi? Kakashi had promised to train the trio after the mission. So far, Sasuke had never seen Sakura fight. She walked towards Sasuke with her hips swaying slightly, and blushed. She carefully knelt down (not to soil her laundered dress of course,) and pulled out a few weeds while trying to keep her perfectly manicured nails intact.

After they had finished their mission, if it even counted as an actual mission, Sakura pulled out a cookie in a napkin and gave it to Sasuke. "Sorry Naruto, the lady seemed to hate you and if she knew I was giving one to you she would get mad. She looked at you like you were responsible with her son's death," Sakura paused for a moment, and looked directly into his eyes, "were you?"

Naruto nodded. Sakura frowned, "Can I ask-"

"Now Sakura, there are somethings that are better left unsaid," Kakashi spoke for what felt like the first time, "but it's not like he'll be saying anything anyways."

Sasuke felt less guilty for his earlier thoughts believing Naruto to be partly responsible for a death. Sasuke couldn't help but feel slightly impressed. He split his cookie in half and chocolate stringed over the two pieces, it was still warm. "Here," Sasuke offered his cookie to Naruto.

Sakura smiled and said, "You're so kind, Sasuke."

Naruto shook his head. Sasuke was more impressed with the fact Naruto refused the temptation of having a delicious cookie. Sasuke shrugged and bit down on the the dessert. It was just as tasty as it smelled and looked.

"Naruto! You shouldn't try and push away Sasuke's kindness, what's wrong with you?" she punched his shoulder lightly. As lightly as a ninja could. Naruto rubbed the pain out of his shoulder. He only shook his head at Sakura. She huffed and turned away, knowing he would not respond to her.

* * *

Kakashi stayed behind to talk to the Hokage, and dismissed the team to go home for the day. He had promised training after, but Sasuke had a feeling that Kakashi was talking to him about the lady, or maybe even Sakura. Now he thought about it, maybe Kakashi was talking to him about _Naruto,_ who might have killed a man. He hoped it was about Sakura. Sasuke could still taste the remains of the chocolate chip cookie in his mouth.

Sasuke returned to the private training ground behind his house. He would get stronger. He whipped his kunai and it hit the target- _thump._


	3. Hostage Exchange

**A/N: Hinata is basically a different character- she doesn't have anyone to look up to, and she isn't a fangirl. The once stutterer is replaced by someone who has lost all care to be nervous. I'm not going to say anymore than that, it'd be spoiling. :)**

 **(she still admires confidence)**

 **Also I made a mistake in the last chapter about Sakura. She should have said something about a diet and not eating the cookie, but I never said she did eat it so ha.**

Chapter 3

Hostage Exchange

Her eyes were half lidded, the voice of her father washed over her like a stinging cold acid- but Hinata could barely hear them. His voice was sharp, clear, and bared for no room for divergence. Whatever topic he was on, no words were wasted. Hanabi stood across from her, waiting for Hinata to engage in sparring. Whoever was to win would be clan head. Hinata was tempted to turn to her father with her eyes glazed over and ask him to repeat himself, but decided punishment was too severe. She had long learned to ignore harsh words she faced from day to day. She closed her eyes, tempted to fall asleep. "Hinata, are you paying attention?"

Without hesitance in her voice she replied, "Yes father."

"Well what are you doing? Begin," Hinata stared at Hanabi. They began circling each other. Hinata had no desire to harm her younger sister- but for so long she had been subjected to her father's ruthless training and merciless beatings. She had felt the sting of his hand on her cheek for too long. She had no inclination to continue with nightly beatings where her body was forced onto the ground, her lungs bled and begged for air, her hair yanked by his rough hands. _Get up._

 _Get up._

 _Get up._

 _GET UP._

She had long abandoned her stuttering idealistic self, and looked at her sister as her equal. The clash lasted for less than a second- Hanabi rushed at Hinata- and Hinata swept her foot underneath the young girl- who was too surprised to react. Jyuuken was entirely based on stance and the fact Hinata abandoned the stance was so unexpected. Hanabi found herself staring up at her sister who had her hand up against her neck.

 _Hinata, take care of your younger sister for me will you?_

 _I will, Mama... Are you going to be okay? Mama?_

 _Hanabi only cried._

Hisashi was quiet for a long moment. At last he spoke up, "I cannot commend you for not following a Jyuuken stance," he left the room. Hinata let go of Hanabi, and stalked off to her room. _I cannot commend you_

 _I cannot commend you._

 _I cannot commend you._

 _I cannot commend you._

* * *

Kurenai reminded her of her mother. She was doll like, her skin was pure and smooth. Hinata's mother was gorgeous, if not more. Kurenai had long black hair that tumbled down past her shoulders, curling around and pass her breasts. The way Kurenai spoke, her voice was soft and low, but had meaning and diction- Hinata's mother had a low calming voice.

Hinata hated it.

She loved her mother. Her mother had been kind to her, given her the only feeling of love she had ever felt. But in her father's roll, her father remained distant and untouchable. Hinata could not be near Kurenai, otherwise Hinata would lose a building she worked so hard to build. Those silly idealistic thoughts would come back. She would die by her father's hand if he felt she had become weak, and learned something as foolish and silly as _love._

Hinata did not hate love. She did not view the world as her father viewed it. She merely viewed him from a distance, like a vulture and its prey. She simply felt like if she felt the emotions she once felt before, she would end up in a world of pain. She hated pain.

She sat down next to Kiba and Shino. They listened to their sensei give a lecture on how to stop genjutsu in the same soothing, low, voice that Hinata loved. Then suddenly Kurenai said something unexpected, "Hinata, I've just been offered a trade with Kakashi. He wants to take you as a student, and he wants me to take Sakura,"

Hinata felt Shino stiffen next to her. "Sensei, that is illogical. We are a tracking team, why would he want to take away Hinata?"

"Kakashi-sensei explained Sakura had near perfect chakra control, and if she practiced and trained hard enough she would have the ability to sense chakra around. Some people are natural, but it's possible to train especially with good control. Also, Kakashi reasoned that Hinata specialized in Taijutsu which fits in well with Naruto and Sasuke's talents," Kurenai reasoned with Shino. He relaxed considerably. Everything was okay for Shino as long as it was logical.

 _Wasn't I just thinking that I couldn't be in the same team as Kurenai-sensei because she would cause me more pain than good?_ She felt like she had jinxed something. At the same time, she wanted to be with Kurenai, the mother-like figure she had come to adore in less than two days. She almost wanted Kurenai to be there to remind her to be a little human, to remember what it was like to cry.

"Hinata, this is up to you. If you want we can do a temporary switch for a couple of days and see how the team adjusts. You don't even have to decide right now," Kurenai smiled. Her smile looked so painful to Hinata, though Hinata knew she was imagining it being painful, she knew that it was only painful because it reminded her of her mother again. Her mother's smile as she took Hinata's hand by her bedside, _Hinata, take care of your younger sister for me will you?_

The birth had screams that echoed into Hinata's mind. The birth had screams that she would never forget. With agony came happiness. With screams came life. With life came death. _I will never give birth._

Kiba laughed nervously. Hinata knew he felt awkward. Shino said to her, "Hinata I will support your decision regardless of what you decide to choose." He proceeded to push up his glasses.

"I think it will be a good idea," she almost whispered, her voice was so faint. The hardness she had found within herself when she spoke to her father had disappeared, replaced by a painful weakness, where her voice felt naked and exposed. Suddenly, all eyes were on her, "I... It would be very good for Sakura, an-and... w-well..." She trailed off into nothingness. Stuttering. Stuttering was a sign of weakness.

Kurenai smiled, "Okay, well remember Hinata. Team eight will always be here in case you need anything, or if you want more genjutsu training."

"Yeah! Hinata, we'll always be here for you! You can come to us for anything, especially of Sasuke is a jerk, or Naruto is too boring," Kiba puffed out his chest. Akamaru barked, puffing out his own puppy chest.

"Although I had looked forward to having you on our team, I think you will work well with the other team as well," Shino said, pushing up his glasses again.

Hinata found herself smiling, "Th-thank you for being on a team with me. Maybe we can work together in the future."

She wasn't lying. But she could not bare to look at Kurenai.

* * *

Three days later, the "formal exchange" happened. The Hokage supervised. It was possibly the strangest "formal" event Hinata had ever taken place in. They stood in his office, Hinata surrounded by her two teammates; Sakura, surrounded by her two teammates. Kakashi gave her a strange eye smile, where he looked happy but because the rest of his face was covered, she could only see his eye.

"Team seven, do you agree to relinquish all rights on Hanaro Sakura, as sensei and teammates?" the Hokage puffed his pipe and sighed. He looked bored.

"We do," Kakashi continued smiling. Sakura clenched her tiny hands onto her dress, her hair was disheveled, her lip was trembling, her red eyes were puffy, and they were sunken. She looked like she hadn't eaten for days. Hinata could almost make out her sharp cheekbones.

Hinata could not take her eyes off of the once confident girl she had the slightest amount of respect for. Hinata had always had dislike for her "fangirlness" but liked how she strode around like she owned the world. She looked so confident she could seduce the boy she loved, she received top marks in everything she did, (except taijutsu, Hinata held that title- Hinata had ten times the training since it was her specialization), Sakura didn't put up with any nonsense and wasn't afraid to speak out or be loud.

"Team eight, do you agree to relinquish all rights on Hyuuga Hinata, as sensei and teammates?" the Hokage asked.

"We do," Kurenai said, there was a soft tone of sadness in her voice Hinata didn't miss. But it was too late now. Hinata had made a decision.

"Well, go on then, shake each other's hands," the Hokage let out a long trail of smoke.

Hinata walked forward hesitantly, Sakura followed suit. They shook hands. Sakura did her best to not look at Hinata. Hinata knew if she avoided eye contact, her father would have beat her for it, but excused Sakura's behavior. Sakura was evidently in distress, and it wasn't right for Hinata to get angry.

She stood next to her new team. Kakashi patted on her head.

"Well," the Hokage said, "I hope this team change will not only be good for you as teammates in general, but for Konoha as a whole. Keep in mind, although you will remain in different teams, there are times when you must be called together, and work together for the greater good. You are dismissed."

They trailed out of the office, outside.

"Let's go to the training grounds and get started with team work, okay? Sakura?" Hinata watched as the girl, her hair shrouding most of her face, nodded. They took off in a different direction.

"Why don't we go out to eat now?" Kakashi smiled. Both Sasuke and Naruto looked at him weird, Hinata supposed it was not the most common suggestion. He put up his hands, "What? So we can learn about each other. We don't have Sakura so we can start off with introductions again. And we never got to hear each other's true introductions."

Naruto's face brightened, his lips pulled into a smile. Sasuke _giggled._ It was time for the rest of the team to stare at him. Kakashi said, "Now Sasuke, do I have to kick you off the team as well?"

Sasuke snorted.

"Sensei," Hinata asked, "why did you ask for the exchange?"

Kakashi began walking, the team followed. He thought for a while, Hinata figured he was thinking whether or not he should tell her or not, but he did. He explained Naruto and Sasuke approaching him on day one. He explained how she started taking extreme care of her looks so badly it interfered with their missions, how she stopped eating altogether and when she did she threw up. Not because she caused herself to, but because her stomach was so unused to everything she ate.

Team Seven sat down around a Korean barbecue place. They grilled meat with chopsticks, but ate in relative silence. The only words she ever heard, "Pass the salt."

It was so different from Team Eight. Hinata felt like she could comfortably fit herself into her new team. She no longer felt obligated to talk, she didn't have any anxiety about stuttering, or her blushing condition that came with any sort of embarrassment.

Her second favorite part about Team Seven was Kakashi's genjutsu mask that he used to cover his face, and food just disappeared underneath his mask.


	4. My Students are Walnuts

**A/N: We get to explore Kakashi  
**

 **Naruto's italics will be treated like dialogue, grammatically.**

 **Another thing, for some reason most bars in the Naruto-verse according to other fanfics, are called "The Rusty Kunai" and I kind of like that name so I will also steal that. (It means I'm unoriginal.)**

 **ALSO, if anyone was paying any attention yesterday, (Feb 20th, 2017, Monday) I changed the cover of the story like 80 times. I finally edited the photo to look good. Edited and drawn by me ;)**

 **This is the cover photo to "Lifeless Eyes" that I drew is... on my deviantart that fanfiction refuses to link.**

 **My deviantart is the name "Astrothium" so if you really do a good search you could find it, the picture is titled "I Am Afraid". (jk I only have like 5 pics on there). The name Astrothium should be pretty easy to find too.**

 **The second way is to go to my profile and copy and paste the link I threw out there with a bunch of spaces in-between it**

Chapter 4

My Students are Walnuts

Kakashi would be lying if he called his sensei's kid driven. Hinata and Sasuke seemed to be ten times as driven as Naruto. Naruto simply went through the motions like a robot. He wondered why Naruto even wanted to be a ninja. They trained in the field by a river. Sasuke and Hinata raced while Naruto trailed behind, just a little more reluctant, just a little less happy.

Kakashi would be lying if he called his team loud. They were the opposite. Because Naruto never spoke, and Sasuke was naturally quiet, he had no idea what or who Hinata was. He noticed her little tics, her blushing whenever she failed a task, and her stuttering when she tried to say something loudly, but he had no idea what any of it meant. Sasuke didn't have that ego Kakashi had familiarized himself with as a child, he found that the ego Sasuke threw out was only to drive other people away. He never acted arrogant around his own team, because they had already been "driven" away- in a sense- to silence.

Kakashi would be lying if he said he wasn't worried. Each of his kids appeared to be traumatized by one thing or another. He never thought he would find a _Hyuuga_ who was traumatized, they tended to be arrogant- the kind of arrogance he was familiar with, the one he had as a child and exuded around Obito, Rin, and even his own sensei- but whenever he asked Hinata about her dreams, her likes, her dislikes, she shook her head. She was afraid to say so.

Kakashi would also be lying if he said he wasn't curious. Both Naruto and Sasuke had seen Hinata shake her head, and followed suit. Sure, Kakashi had joked around with his team by not giving out any actual information about himself "I have hobbies, and many likes, and many dislikes," but his was a joke, not a "I'm afraid to tell anyone anything." He decided the best course of action was to act as a councilor so that he could have one on one talks with each of them.

Kakashi was not a natural comforter of feelings like Asuma or Kurenai, but he had faced more hardships than both. Of course, both had their own hardships that were relevant in their own ways- but none of them had experienced the loss of everything he had loved. He did have to be fair, Kurenai was still facing consistent hardships and sexist comments in the ninja world. He knew nothing made her angrier, and she turned cold whenever she was faced with it. It was a different kind of hardship, the kind of hardship where everything revolves around expectation. Kakashi's hardship revolved around loss. Grief leaves scars.

"Naruto, come here please. Hinata, Sasuke, keep running around the lake. I need to talk to you," Kakashi nodded.

They nodded back and continued running. Naruto did not look breathless as expected when Kakashi asked him to come. As expected from the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi, Naruto had large reserves of both chakra and stamina.

"I want to well... not hear, but understand from you, why you decided to become a ninja," Kakashi said. He often corrected himself when talking to Naruto because he understood Naruto didn't talk. The sun was high in the sky, beating down on Naruto's mop of unruly blond hair. The summer was stifling hot, and an absence of wind made it worse. He could feel sweat dripping down his chest, underneath the mask, soaking into his clothes.

Naruto's lack of movement drew out the summer. He avoided looking at Kakashi as much as possible, and pulled out a notebook. His pencil paused on the paper, and he seemed unable to answer the simple question. Kakashi pretended to be busy staring at the trees around, wishing for the selfish comfort of breeze. As a ninja he was trained to face all weather, but it didn't mean that he didn't feel it. Sure he could live in it. He just preferred cool weather. All the kids wore shorts and t-shirts. He was almost jealous.

"You don't have to answer right now, Naruto," Kakashi sighed.

Naruto nodded, he looked even lower. He wrote in his notebook, _I like eating ramen and reading, and I dislike most people._

Kakashi felt like it was an exchange of information, instead of sharing his reason to become a ninja, Naruto shared his likes and dislikes. He nodded.

"I like reading too," Kakashi gave him an eye smile. Why not add on his own information.

Naruto looked pointedly at the place where Kakashi's orange book was hiding. Yes, Naruto knew Kakashi liked reading. And he liked reading porn no less.

"That isn't all I read," Kakashi replied adamant, "But for future reference, around me, I can read lips."

Naruto nodded, he mouthed, _Okay._

* * *

"How is Sakura?" Kakashi asked as he approached Kurenai. They sat down together at a bar. He had asked her to come talk to him, out of both curiosity of what happened to his ex-student, and to talk about their teams. She had a bottle of sake and two sake bowls stacked upon each other. He had a feeling she was ready to rant.

"She's..." Kurenai started, then stopped. She poured the bottle and took a shot.

"She's got issues, hasn't she?" Kakashi asked, then sighed when Kurenai didn't say anything. "I didn't push her onto your team just because I had issues with her, please understand."

Kurenai glared at him. Kakashi poured and drank his own sake.

"What? Really," Kakashi said like a three-year-old.

"Okay, than give me a reason to believe you," Kurenai said. There was a hint of anger in her voice he didn't miss.

"Is Sakura eating?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes, but she's still skinny," Kurenai replied. Her red eyes bore into his single eye accusingly.

"Than that is why. I don't understand Sakura, I couldn't help her. She became more and more obsessed with Sasuke until she stopped eating," Kakashi rubbed his face tiredly.

"Oh," Kurenai said softly, "I can forgive that."

The lights were dimly illuminating her figure. He saw her drink her sake, and followed suit. He let the cool liquid burn down his throat, his mind was longing for its effects. There was no point in hiding his face in a genjutsu, Kurenai could see through it as someone who worked with genjutsu with her whole living, breathing body.

"She doesn't have anyone to look up to, and as someone who faces discrimination as a female ninja, I figured that you could be a good role-model. On top of that," Kakashi poured himself more liquor, it splashed into his sake dish, and threatened to spill over, "I wasn't lying about the small reserves and genjutsu potential. Her natural talent for chakra control is commendable, and that may be one of the biggest reasons why she passed the academy."

He tipped his head and let the sake trail down his throat. Nothing tasted better.

"I'm glad you told me," she said softly, she followed suit with Kakashi, pouring out more sake and drinking it.

"Now I need to know from you, is there something wrong with Hinata?" Kakashi asked. He downed a fifth drink. He felt heat rise to his head, pushing on his cheeks. The relief of alcohol pushed away any truly complex thoughts he had. It made things simple.

"I don't know," Kurenai said. Her own soft features were starting to flush from the effects, "from my own understanding, Hinata hates her home. I'm surprised you didn't catch that."

"Oh," Kakashi said, disappointed in himself. After Kurenai told him that, he realized her face fell every time he dismissed the team. After thinking about it, his whole team did that.

"I assume it means something is wrong with her home life," Kurenai said after a while. They stared into silence. The bar was slowly filling up as night dawned. It wasn't an exclusively shinobi bar, but the vast majority of shinobi (if they drank) came to drink here. The Rusty Kunai advertised themselves as a shinobi bar. Consequently, veterens trying to forget their past and ninja who wanted to forget the horrors of last mission came to talk about it. Kakashi liked the therapy atmosphere associated. It gave a more relaxed feeling that everyone knew horrors of their own kind, and almost everyone had seen things they'd rather forget.

"My whole team seems to have things wrong with them," Kakashi sighed, rubbing his face.

Kurenai drank again. Kakashi followed suit. Asuma sat down next to the two of them.

"So how are your teams going?" he said cheerily.

The two turned to glare at him.

"Oh," Asuma said. He borrowed their sake bottle and drank. Kakashi snatched it away. Kurenai giggled.

"I need it more than both of you," he said, "my whole team is afraid to talk."

"I thought that Naruto was a really loud and annoying kid," Asuma said. Kakashi stared at him. Asuma was being serious. How did the whole world find Naruto annoying? He hadn't said a single thing. Even Sakura called him annoying and then found out that Naruto never spoke. Asuma said quickly, "I mean, I don't know him personally, but that's what I heard from the academy teachers."

Kurenai said, "Kakashi, even Naruto?"

Kakashi stared at the sake bottle in his hand, he wished he could drown himself in it.

"He's a mute," Kakashi poured himself a generous amount of sake.

Their mouths were slightly agape.

"But what about... back at the academy?" Asuma asked. All he heard were bad things about the kid, and he imagined a class clown and dead-last kid, who would do anything for attention. He was the kid that blew spitballs at the teachers. He was the reason why the class was talkative. When was he a mute?

"Sasuke implied he knew Naruto had always been a mute," Kakashi replied.

"Since when? Is he purposely not talking or do his vocal cords not exist?" Kurenai asked.

"I don't know," Kakashi said, "but at the very least it doesn't harm his ability to be a ninja, since most ninja use sign language and mouthing words to perform missions anyways."

"That's true, but..." Kurenai began. Her mind was spinning over this new information.

Kakashi washed his throat with more alcohol and let his face fall to the counter with a clang. The forehead protector protected him, "Maa, being a teacher can be stressful."

"I quite like it," Asuma contradicted.

"It isn't so bad. I'm sure I can work with Sakura," Kurenai said, "you're right though. She will be a tough nut to crack."

"All of my students are walnuts," Kakashi sighed.

"I guess you're right about Hinata though, she probably will have emotional difficulties," Kurenai sighed.

Asuma sighed because he had nothing to complain about.


	5. Carrot in a Box Labelled Cheese

Chapter 5

Carrot in a Box Labelled "Cheese"

 ** _My name is Sakura Hanuro._**

"Sakura, listen to me," Kurenai snapped. Sakura looked up into her red eyes. Kurenai-sensei was beautiful. Sakura sighed again. She leaned back against the door, Kiba and Shino had gone home for the day and Kurenai requested Sakura to stay behind for a moment.

"Yes, Kurenai-sensei?" she asked.

"I'm most interested in the well being of my kids, and I've decided to take out time to talk to you. It isn't a secret you like Sasuke," Kurenai said bluntly.

"Y-yeah..." Sakura had a soft blush on her face. His face came into her mind, he was so handsome she wanted to melt. **_I'm annoying._**

"Now, would you go as far as to say you considered yourself..." Kurenai paused, "In love with Sasuke?"

"Yes," Sakura answered immediately. Nothing would make her happier than to be with Sasuke for life. It was her dream to melt his stoic personality, and look past the ugliness of the world, and see beauty. Maybe if he could see things were beautiful, he wouldn't be so cold. She imagined a life where he and her were together, where they would hold hands. He would still be a little quiet, but shy when he told her he loved her. **_I have no talents-_**

"In order to be in love with someone, you must see their faults," Kurenai smiled, "look. I consider myself in love, but I see the faults of the person I'm in love with."

"Kurenai-sensei, you're in love?" Sakura had no idea. She stared up at her new teacher. It wasn't surprising that Kurenai had another chasing after her.

"Only recently, he's asked me out. But I am more interested in your... love life right now. As a ninja, you must have a clear mind. You can't let things interfere with the mission," she said.

"That's one of the rules of being a shinobi," Sakura smiled, excited for a moment to impress her sensei, "rule number four, a shinobi must always put the mission first."

"Exactly," Kurenai said, "so I've decided to make you an assignment. This can be assigned to anyone, but this is mostly for those who are... in deep love with another person." **- _outside of studying_.**

Sakura nodded slowly, unsure of where this is going. She was excited to earn more brownie points with her sensei, but she didn't want it to abolish her love. She had a feeling it's what Kurenai was going for, but Kurenai continued, "This isn't to make you fall out of love, but rather it's to make you think."

Sakura nodded again. As long as it didn't ruin her relationship.

"It will ruin your love, however, if you find something you don't like about the one whom you love; and you think that's a deal breaker for you. Think of it as looking into yourself for answers. It may strengthen your love as well, though," Kurenai said. "I've personalized these set of questions to talk about Sasuke because I already knew you loved him."

"Well, it shouldn't, because Sasuke doesn't have any faults," Sakura smiled.

"Okay, well that's only if your sure. Here's some questions, and I want you to write down responses that are at least a paragraph long answers to each of them, and turn them into me. If you want, as a reward, I can teach you some handy genjutsu to use. Of course, that's only if you consider it a rew-"

Sakura nodded enthusiastically, "I'll do my best."

* * *

1\. Do you believe there is any chance at all of having a relationship with Sasuke- if so, why?

It was only the first question and Sakura halted. She would answer yes, but she didn't know why. Her mother had left on the soap opera TV downstairs, and she was starting to get annoyed by its buzzing.

 _Yes, because_

She scribbled over it.

 _No, because Sasuke refuses to look at me every-_

She scribbled over it.

 _Yes, because Sasuke_

She decided it was better to move onto the next question.

2\. Do you dress up, or starve yourself in order to look better for Sasuke? Why? If so, do you let your hunger or clothing get in the way of performing well in missions? This question is not applicable if you do neither of the above.

 _Yes, I do, because if I do he might notice more. I try not to let it_

I try not to let it interfere with missions but it does anyways? Sakura bit her lip. Next question.

3\. Do you follow Sasuke around, or try to follow him? If so, why?

 _Yes, because I'm curious to know what he's up to, and if I can find something he likes._

That was easier. _**I like**_ ** _stalking Uchiha Sasuke-_**

4\. Tell me what you like about Sasuke's personality.

 _He's cool, he acts really cool. He doesn't take shit from anything-_ was it okay to put a swear word in there? Sakura disregarded it, it was a very informal assignment, she supposed- _he's sometimes really nice, he once offered Naruto half a cookie, but Naruto didn't take it because he's an idiot._ **- _and hitting people._**

She felt satisfied when she hit him for it

5\. If you could change anything about Sasuke's personality, what would it be?

 _Make him less arrogant, make him love me more,_

Sakura stared at her words.

He hates me.

* * *

Ino arranged a gathering for all of the rookies, to eat barbecue for dinner. She invited all of the sensei too, but they all respectfully declined. Sakura felt it rude to decline, but it was her lifelong rival, and her once best friend, she couldn't decline. Besides, she would be able to see Sasuke again. **-** _**because I have no friends and nothing better to do.**_

Sakura pulled on her pink hair. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

 _He hates me, he hates me, he hates me, he hates me, he hates, he hates, he hates._

She wrote down: _he hates. I would want him to love more._

He hates a lot. He hates her, he hates Ino, he hates everyone, except maybe Naruto. Why he didn't hate Naruto she didn't understand, her parents kept telling her that Naruto was trouble, Naruto was annoying, stay away from Naruto.

Sakura arrived at the barbecue place, feeling alone and overwhelmed. People trailed by her, and she found Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji sitting together. Kiba had just arrived behind her, and Shino came back from the bathroom. She noticed the absence of Team Seven.

"Hi, Ino, Chouji, Shikamaru, Shino, Kiba," she listed off their names, clutching and letting go of her dress. Their faces were a bit blurry, she realized there were tears in the corner of her eyes. She quickly wiped them away and looked at her old academy... acquaintances? She had never been close enough to call them friends. She knew Ino didn't feel that way either. Kiba grinned at her and sat down next to her, leaving her other side open.

"Do you know if the rest of Team Seven will-" Ino started to say, "What? Kiba?"

Kiba had been frantically waving to Ino.

Sakura stared at them, "It's not a big deal, Kiba."

"Oh. Really?" Kiba asked. Shino pushed up his glasses.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru leaned back, "Ino, Sakura isn't apart of Team Seven anymore, they traded Hinata and Sakura."

Sakura didn't know Shikamaru very well, all she knew was that Shikamaru was incredibly lazy. He slept during class and never paid attention to anything.

"Oh, so you aren't in a team with Sasuke, huh?" Ino had a sly grin on her face.

Sakura sunk into her chair, looking down.

 _He hates me. He hates me. He hates me._

"Hi," Hinata's soft voice called, and suddenly Sakura's thoughts were snapped. Hinata sat down next to Chouji.

"Hey Hinata, what's it like being on a team with the most handsome boy in the world-"

Sasuke appeared, interrupting Ino's words.

"Oh hey, Sasuke, we were just talking about you," Ino had a wide smile on her face.

"I know," Sasuke replied. He wasn't sitting down.

"What are you waiting for? Sit down," Ino smiled.

"I'm waiting for Naruto," Sasuke replied. He didn't look at Ino nor Sakura. _Why did he even come?_ Sakura found herself asking. He never joined any team building, family like activity. He was glaring at her. Her jaw quivered, she looked down, and wished he would just sit down. She no longer cared ** _\- I dislike when Sasuke doesn't want to sit next to me which is all the time-_** that he did not want to sit down next to her, but the whole awkwardness of the situation. She did not know if the rest of the table knew or not of their drama; where he was purposely avoiding sitting next to her on purpose like always, but it made her bite her lip just imagining Ino's face when she figured it out, her voice was shill in her head, _"Sasuke purposely didn't sit next to you, because he hates you."_

Shikamaru muttered, "Troublesome."

Sakura felt very much like echoing him. She had a feeling Shikamaru knew, and when she looked up at him, he stared at her. His face gave no emotion away, only the same lazy, relaxed face he had on forever.

Naruto appeared, staring down at his shoes. His face was red. He sat down next to Sakura. His eyes glanced up to meet her's for a split second, then they returned to the floor.

Sasuke sat down next to Naruto.

"So what have you guys all been doing as a team?" Ino said, her voice was bubbly. She leaned over, pressing her elbow onto the table, and fluttered her eyelashes ever so slightly at Sasuke.

Sakura was tempted to glare at her, but she couldn't even find the effort to lift her eyeballs.

"We've been doing a lot of stuff on genjutsu," Kiba answered cheerily, oblivious to Ino's flirtations. Akamaru barked just as excitedly, "Sakura's the best at it though."

When they were first subjected to a light genjutsu, Sakura had been the first to dispel it. She had gotten a proud compliment from her whole team, and she felt like she did something great- better than just nomination for "kunochi of the year."

"We've been doing a lot of team work things," Ino said, "because I won't lose to forehead."

Sakura didn't want to rise to the bait. She really didn't, but she said, "Well let's see how your genjutsu performance than we can talk, Ino-pig."

Ino smirked at her, "Yeah right, billboard-brow."

Sakura shrugged and pretended to look aloof. How was she supposed to respond to her again? She found herself unable to remember what it was like to fight with Ino.

Ino was distracted again, she ordered for the whole table. She asked for any specific requests, but everyone depended on her to order the raw meat and vegetables. When the waiter was gone, she said, "What has your team been doing, Sasuke?"

Sasuke had been looking down at the table, his eyes off in a distant land. When Ino called him, he barely moved his eyes up to her, then to Hinata.

Hinata looked at Naruto.

Naruto looked from Hinata to Sasuke, then looked down. His face was red again. Sakura hadn't seen him blush before, but was curious why. Embarrassment? Awkwardness? Maybe he had a crush?

"We're learning sign language," Sasuke said after a long moment of silence.

"What? Why?" Ino asked.

Sakura didn't want to answer. She felt embarrassed for Naruto all of a sudden. How could everyone think he's loud and annoying when he really never spoke? She was ashamed she had been a part of the problem. It was a good idea to learn sign language for Naruto. She felt like she should too, so she could communicate with him better.

"Ino, sign language is a requirement to learn when you're chunin," Shikamaru said, his voice was cool. He almost closed his eyes, it looked as if he was about to fall asleep, "it's better to learn it early in order to get a hang of it, and then refine it in your later years. Besides, we're shinobi, silent communication is sometimes needed."

Did Shikamaru know Naruto didn't talk?

Sakura felt foolish- her whole life she had praised herself for intelligence. But there Shikamaru was, getting mediocre grades, knowing Naruto didn't talk despite _everyone_ saying he was loud and annoying, how could she have missed it? It was like someone had put a carrot in front of a room full of eyes, and everyone was convinced it was a piece of cheese, and people just kept telling her it was cheese until she somehow believed it.

Then she supposed, _no it is actually different._ The carrot is inside a box labelled "cheese" that someone else wrote, and no one in the room bothered to check to see if it really was cheese or not. Except Shikamaru. She had assumed so quickly, because the box had already been labelled, that it was right.

She looked at Naruto.

Naruto handed her a little note during this, _I'm glad to hear you're doing well in genjutsu._

Sakura clutched onto the note, and almost trampled over Sasuke trying to run to the bathroom. She heard Ino's voice behind her, "Sakura! Apologize to Sasuke-"

But she was already gone. Tears leaked out of her eyes, and she wiped away her tears. They wouldn't stop spilling forth, and she didn't know why she was crying so much, she put her head in the sink, and sobbed, washing her face, again and again.

Why was he so nice to her after she had hit him so many times? How did she not know he didn't talk?

 _What is wrong with me?_


	6. When I Accidentally Fired a Teacher

**A/N: Kyoka and Ayuka-sensei are characters owned by me. Also, really short chapter.**

Chapter 6

When I Accidentally Fired a Teacher

October 10th, 1991

There was a blonde haired, blue eyed boy that never spoke- I'm not sure what his name was (at least until Ayuka-sensei said his name was Naruto but that's later)- but he was definitely not from the Yamanaka clan, his hair was darker than Ino's and all her cousins. He sat in the back, and he never talked in class. Kyoka was doing project spitball in front of him.

The teacher was talking about the attack of the Kyuubi, because it was killed 6 years ago on this day. It was the same talk as last year and they year before that, but I didn't fall asleep because I wanted to see what Kyoka was doing. He had seventeen little rolled up pieces of paper, and finally he pulled out a straw and stuffed the paper through it. He missed Ayuka-sensei the first two times he wrote something down on the board, but the third time he hit. Kyoka and his friends all giggled. Naruto giggled too. I had never seen him talk, but he seemed to find amusement in this. Ayuka-sensei turned around and glared at the whole class, "The attack of the Kyuubi no Yoko is no laughing matter. Who did it?"

No one said anything, but then suddenly, Kyoka pointed at Naruto. I always knew Ayuka-sensei ignored Naruto in particular when asking questions and lecturing, and Naruto never tried to raise his hand anyways. But sometimes Ayuka-sensei would pick on me even though I had never raised my hand. It was stupid, and I almost wished I got the same treatment as him, except he was an easy bully target because he was small and didn't talk much.

Ayuka-sensei gave such a look it made the whole class wet their pants, or at least it felt like it. His glare looked murderous, as if he was going to kill blonde right on the spot. "Naruto..." he growled.

That was when I found out Naruto's name. Ayuka-sensei normally would just immediately blame Kyoka, but this time he seemed particularly angry. Kyoka gulped, and I knew he would never take the blame back, because he was too scared.

I could have sworn I felt killing intent when he told Naruto to come down in front of the class. Naruto said adamantly, "But it wasn't me! It was Kyoka-dattebayo!" he had a weird speech tic thing (as written), Ayuka-sensei seemed not to care, and wiggled his fingers for Naruto to come forward.

He told Naruto to hold out his hands, face down Ayuka-sensei took the ruler and slammed down on Naruto's knuckles, and I heard a crack. He did it five times, and Naruto's hands started bleeding, they turned purple too.

Naruto walked back up, he was crying, but not outright. Just the corners of his eyes had tears. He cradled his hands gingerly, and sat back down in the back. He stared sullenly at the front for the rest of the time.

I had expected someone else to jump to his defense, but no one did. What's wrong with people?

Why didn't I jump to his defense?

I should have.

* * *

October 11th, 1991

Cloud watching was not as fun when thinking about Naruto.

* * *

October 14th, 1991

Naruto's hands have already healed. That was really fast. I saw them beating Naruto up in the playground. I told Ayuka-sensei, he said they were only kids playing. Kyoka and his gang seemed to know that Ayuka-sensei wouldn't do anything about it. Well I did everything I could, right? There was no way I was going to go into a 1v5 and come out on top.

I came home and told my dad I had seen Naruto get bullied. Dad asked if I had tried to help. I told him I told our sensei, who didn't do anything about it, and I asked why he didn't do anything about it. Dad said "Well, Shikamaru, there are things better left unsaid. But I will talk to a higher authority about it."

\- one day later (October 15th), Ayuka-sensei disappeared, and was replaced with Ani-sensei. She seemed to ignore Naruto just as much. Maybe dad had gotten Ayuka-sensei fired for Naruto? I was really confused.


	7. Sly Fox

**A/N: First, I'd like to give thanks for all the feedback I've received, I look forward to reading reviews every single day and they all make me happy. Second,** **kyuzi4869 hoped for no romance, and here I am to confirm, I do not have any foreseeable ideas of romance at all, if it comes it'll come naturally much much much much later because they're 12.** **I don't expect 12 year olds to be much into romance. Maybe at 14 of 16 but really though, even if there was romance, the fic would definitely not revolve around it. Also, again, sorry for the short chapter, last time and this time.**

Chapter 7

Sly Fox

Water dripped off the green leaves, into the soil, darkening it. Naruto sighed as he placed chives back up against his windowsill and looked out onto the streets. The sun was shining on Konoha, another beautiful day. Sakura had reacted so negatively the day before. He had only wanted her to genuinely improve as a ninja. Although Naruto did not exactly like Sakura, he found himself becoming more and more okay with her. Naruto felt for her cause, she desperately craved attention- and where better to receive attention from the one whom everyone is jealous of? He felt like he could have ended up like her, if the attention he had received had been less negative and more neutral like Sasuke's reactions.

She was also very pretty. That didn't help with the personality points, but she was able to make herself pretty when she wanted to. She also knew well how to flirt with boys. Naruto slid open the window a crack, and a breeze lifted air into the room, filling it with fresh scent. People wheeling carts, horses galloping, and conversational noise filled the air. Despite Naruto's personal experience with Konoha, he knew most people were happy. It made him jealous.

He turned around and laid down on the bed. He held up his hands, looking at the creases in there. _Am I really the Kyuubi?_ He experimentally tried to ask that in sign language, but he didn't know if there was a word for Kyuubi and gave up. Although Iruka had put his forehead protector on Naruto that night so long ago, no one had bothered to explain to him what it meant to be the Kyuubi. He didn't remember attacking the village all those years ago- when he was born.

Maybe the Fourth turned the Kyuubi into a baby with his expert ninjutsu. Although that made no sense. Otherwise, he did have a lot of chakra. Perhaps that was a sign? He pulled his concentration inward, focusing on his breathing. He tried to remember what had happened all those years ago, but found no memories coming up. He felt like he was falling in his own body, and he tried to wake up, but instead entered his own mindscape.

It felt like a foggy dream, but the water felt real. _Drip, drip, drip,_ was that the sound of his broken faucet or was it something else this time? His feet were ankle deep inside the water, touching the gritty earth. The pipes lined the ceiling, different colors of rust from brown red to dark brown- almost black. A massive gate stood in front of him, tall as his apartment building. Two eyes peered behind the gate, slitted, angry, red eyes.

"So you've come to meet me, huh, jailor?" the Kyuubi's face came into the light, his coat of red-orange fur was so long and thick each strand was the size of Naruto's arm. He laid his head down over his arms like a dog curling up and looked bored.

Naruto opened his mouth, he tried croaking something out, but a blush halted him. He only managed to make a single restrained noise. He looked down at his feet, his face was pulsing. He felt like his head was on fire. The noise he had made just echoed into emptiness.

"You're weak," the Kyuubi said, "too weak to even speak. I've seen your world, human. I've seen the way you act. You want to play hero but you're too scared to. You just want to live in your own apartment forever with no one knocking it down. You want to cower away."

Naruto tried to say something again. His face was so red, he only wanted to talk.

"Calm down little weakling, just think what you want to say," the Kyuubi swatted at the bar in annoyance, his paw pressed against the metal bar, "let me out too. If you want you can live a normal life without me. I'll just go away somewhere else."

 _I thought I was you,_ Naruto concentrated his energy, looking down, showing the Kyuubi only his mop of blonde hair.

"Ch," the Kyuubi made a noise of discontent, "you thought you could be _me? A mighty tailed beast turned into a weakling like you?"_ Water rose up and splashed around as the Kyuubi rose his head to sit tall, his tails waved around and he stood on his front paws. He glared down at Naruto, his teeth were pulled back into a slight snarl. "You're only a kit, I've been around since the beginning of time."

 _Very impressive, Mr. Kyuubi,_ Naruto sighed and sat down in the water, it soaked up his pants. He knew it was all in his mind, _but I wouldn't want to be you._

"Why wouldn't you want to be me?" the Kyuubi snarled.

 _You're feared,_ Naruto replied, _I hate being feared. I just want to be normal._

"Let me out than," the Kyuubi sighed, "just tear that seal you see on the gate over there. It'll open the jail so I can be free, and you'll no longer than be jinchuuriki."

 _I can't reach it though._

"What are you talking about you own this land. Just imagine the water helping you up," the Kyuubi said.

He closed his eyes and imagined- the water swirled around him and brought him up to height with the seal. He experimentally brushed the top.

 _Are you sure this is safe?_

"Yeah yeah, go for it," the Kyuubi had a glimmer of anticipation in his eyes. He was waiting for Naruto.

 _I'm afraid,_ Naruto scrunched up his face.

"It won't do anything bad, okay? Just-" Naruto faltered.

He heard voices from outside, echoing inside, they were loud enough he could hear his name. _Naruto, Naruto, can you hear me? I need you to snap out of it okay?_

Naruto let go of the seal, and water splashed down, he fell with it. The Kyuubi reached out his claws through the bars in anger, shaking the water with him. Naruto stared up at him from the ground, his butt was slightly sore from the fall, "Why did you stop?" the Kyuubi asked.

The world was gone.

All of a sudden he woke up. He was no longer in his apartment, there was a crater where he sat, in the middle. People were standing at the edge of the crater, looking down at him with distaste and contempt. Kakashi was next to him. Naruto was in his embrace. He collapsed to the ground- but Kakashi held him up, his legs felt really weak for some reason, like string cheese.

"Good job snapping out of it," Kakashi said gently,

Naruto didn't understand what was going on.

Kakashi let him sit down slowly, and Naruto signed to him, _What happened?_

"You lost control of the Kyuubi," Kakashi said as-a-matter-of-fact. He sat down next to Naruto, putting his arms around him, ignoring the crowd. Naruto would fully admit he enjoyed it. He's never felt the embrace of another in his life, and it was a warm feeling, to know he was loved. Without mouthing his words to Kakashi, he signed, _Why are they all here?_

"You crash landed out of your window and created this crater, so you ruined the street here. Nobody died, luckily, but several people were blown away by the sheer force. I'm sure they only suffered minor injuries," Kakashi said, "you had a chakra cloak on and you sounded like you were in pain. So I ran down to you and told you to snap out of it. You did."

 _Oh,_ Naruto's mouth said. He leaned on Kakashi's shoulder, unsure of what was going on. He wasn't the Kyuubi according to the Kyuubi, but he lost control of the Kyuubi? _I don't get it,_ Naruto signed to Kakashi.

"It's okay, we have to go to see the Hokage soon anyways, explain what's going on. Unfortunately, the rest of your team saw your transformation, and needless to say, they are all very confused."

He scanned the increasing crowd for Hinata and Sasuke, but there were too many people trying to figure out what was going on, pushing their way to the front to see the crater. It made him scared, all these people watching him. He wanted to get out of there.

 _Can we leave?_ Naruto asked.

Kakashi nodded. He picked up Naruto like a baby, and the crowd parted as Kakashi walked through.

 _"Demon,"_

 _"Why is he here?"_

 _"Did the demon go on a rampage?"_

 _"I wish he were dead,"_

Naruto buried his face into Kakashi's chest. "Maa, it'll be okay Naruto. Just relax okay?" Kakashi patted his hair.

Naruto sniffed. He wouldn't cry. He pressed his head into Kakashi's clothes, and stared into the darkness, ignoring the voices around him. He concentrated on the way Kakashi walked, bumping slightly, the smell of his Sensei's clothes- it smelled like dog. He concentrated on the warmth of Kakashi's arms around him, but he would not _could not_ think about the voices around him.

 _"Die demon,"_ a voice screamed. He heard the sound of a rock being thrown, and a chorus of agreement. More rocks flew towards them, but he felt Kakashi easily evade them, as if they were only balloons.

Slowly, silently, Naruto's eyes filled with tears. His tears made Kakashi's clothes wet and uncomfortable, but he couldn't stop crying. His quiet sobs were muffled by the sounds of hate from the outside.

"It's okay Naruto, you'll be okay, okay?" Kakashi's voice was strangely gentle.

Naruto curled deeper into a ball, and nodded his head.


	8. Pot of Basil

Chapter 8

Pot of Basil

The Hokage was having a good day. Konohamaru had given him an origami swan, and despite his obnoxious "wishing to defeat the Hokage and take his hat" every time he walked into his office, the boy truly cared for his grandpa. He gave him an origami swan after all. Konohamaru had blushed and looked down, explaining that the academy had a fun after activity where they were to make presents for their families, and it's not like he wanted to make a swan for his sworn eternal rival or anything like that. Hiruzen nodded and said, "I understand, Konohamaru, don't think this will make it any easier in taking my position, okay?"

Konohamaru replied with the same umph he had since he was a baby, "You bet'cha."

And then this fucking ANBU comes in and ruins the whole goddamn day. "Uzumaki lost control of the Kyuubi," Cat said, she landed in front of him, her hair swaying.

But then the day is saved when Ferret comes in, "Uzumaki is safe, Kakashi subdued the Kyuubi,"

"Make sure Kakashi and Naruto get here safely," the Hokage ordered, "and cover as much evidence as possible. Go,"

They took off, pouncing and disappearing into a swirl of leaves.

He heard a familiar tapping of a cane and a knock on the door, and Hiruzen said, "Come in," knowing full well who it was going to be.

Danzo stood tall, his shadow cast behind him. He tapped his cane against the ground and said, "Sarutobi."

Hiruzen nodded, "Danzo, to what pleasure do I owe this visit?"

"I'm worried about the Kyuubi container," Danzo stated evenly, "he lost control in his apartment this morning, with no sign of why he lost control."

"We still don't have the full report yet. Sit back and wait Danzo, you know it's too early to move right now," Hiruzen replied.

He could feel the disapproval reeking off of Danzo, but he knew he was right this time. Danzo was just over excitedly walking in and proposing a solution to this Kyuubi issue.

They stared at each other for a full minuet, before Team Seven trailed in. Kakashi and Naruto looked bruised and battered, while Sasuke and Hinata looked plainly confused.

"Alright, I'm busy, _Danzo,_ " Hiruzen said pointedly.

Danzo pursed his lips and turned around, his robes trailing behind him. He slammed the door shut like a child throwing a tantrum. Hiruzen sighed and said, "Alright Team Seven, I'd like to hear what happened."

He dismissed Hinata and Sasuke to the waiting room. They trailed behind Danzo reluctantly, curious to know what exactly was happening to Naruto.

* * *

 _Hatake Kakashi_

Kakashi waited thirty minuets before finding Naruto. He sat down with his team, and he thought of weird random words to tell them before he decided to get up. Like for example, ostrich- and he giggled while making a weird hand motion. Sasuke and Hinata stared up at him, moderately bored. They had been forced to wait two hours, and now two hours and thirty minuets because Naruto was gone. He finally got up and said, "Alright, let's go find Naruto."

They trotted behind him as he walked down the streets of the city. You guys are like my little ducklings," Kakashi hummed. It was a Saturday afternoon, and the crowded streets were lively. People wheeling wagons of food bustled by the team, and street shops loudly marketed their products. The faint smell of food from all corners wafted into the air. A slight wind occasionally stirred up dust and leaves from the dirt paths and into the air, rustling trees and cooling down their hot bodies. He felt like a proud duckling mother.

That is until he felt a familiar chakra that made magma feel like a warm bath. The chakra was so scalding hot that it felt ice cold, Hinata and Sasuke felt it too.

"Hinata," Kakashi said urgently, "use your byakugan, follow the source."

Hinata obeyed immediately, flying through the handseals she was so familiar with,"Byakugan," she muttered as her eyes focused, veins popped out near her eyes, overdrive- pumping blood into her eyes.

"That way," she pointed. The three ran towards the source. Kakashi knew it was Naruto. The two children didn't. Hinata didn't give any outward sign she knew it was Naruto either, perhaps the chakra was so heavy that it cloaked him?

They arrived just when Naruto flew out of the window and onto the ground. He was on all fours, his voice was ugly as it howled, a half-human half-monstrous sound. "Naruto?" Sasuke said uncertainly. Naruto's eyes were wide, red, slited, his whiskers were thicker and harsher, and his black jacket was flying open from the sheer force of chakra.

"Get the civilians away from him, go!" Kakashi said angrily, leaving no room for hesitance. Hinata and Sasuke scattered, pushing people away.

ANBU arrived at the scene. They immediately looked to Kakashi as the former ANBU commander and asked, "What should we do, sir?"

"Let me handle this, help my team in getting the citizens out of the way," Kakashi said. Blood rushed from his head to his toes, adrenaline pumping as fast as his heart. The foul scent of blood filled the air, the Kyuubi's chakra was so thick he could choke in it. The ANBU complied. Although he was forever removed from their ranks, they still respected Kakashi and followed his orders- it was something Kakashi could appreciate.

Some citizens were still scrambling to run away, but there was no time to spare, he couldn't wait for Naruto to fall deeper into the influence. He charged in, shoulder first, slamming into Naruto. Naruto screamed at him and tried swiping at him with his slowly growing nails, they became studded, black, hardened.

"Naruto!" Kakashi yelled, pushing Naruto into the ground. He punched Naruto in the face, again, and again, Naruto's blood trailed down his face. _I'm not punching Naruto, I'm punching the demon that has taken possession,_ Kakashi thought to himself as he slammed a foot down on Naruto's stomach. Red chakra exploded outwards, knocking Kakashi off, leaving a deep crater in the ground.

Naruto stood on all fours, in the center, staring at Kakashi who was sprawled out on the side of the crater. He was stumbling around like a confused dog, his nose in the air, sniffing for his next target- he locked in on Kakashi, snarled, and pounced. He smashed Kakashi into the ground, and proceeded to wrap his hands around Kakashi's throat.

Kakashi clenched onto Naruto's arms, pulling his arms away from his throat, trying to breathe. His arms were already burning from pain. While gasping for air, "Naruto! Can you hear me? I need you to snap out of it, okay?" He said as calmly as he could while being choked. His hands straining to hold off the worst of the pressure, but he was losing strength quickly. The burning pain was too much.

Kakashi let go, and Naruto pressed deeper into his throat. He was losing air, his vision was foggy. He grabbed at Naruto's face, but it was too no avail. _Is this how I die?_ A fireball hit Naruto full force on the back, heat spread around Kakashi, but because of Naruto's chakra cloak only the back of Naruto's jacket burned away. His teeth pulled back like a dog's, and he made a guttural noise, his feral eyes swung around to stare at the perpetrator.

Sasuke looked at Naruto with wide eyes, holding his arms up as defense as Naruto flew at him.

Kakashi regained his composure as fast as he could, but Naruto was already there in front of Sasuke, about to swipe down. Sasuke's eyes turned red, but Naruto slowed down to a falter, his fist dropped. Sasuke slowly backed away, uncertain. Kakashi reached towards Naruto just in time, grabbing around his waist, turning Naruto towards himself. His head fell back a little, his eyes flickered between blue and red.

"Good job snapping out of it," Kakashi said gently, letting Naruto sit down to the ground. _Sasuke, go tell an ANBU Uzumaki is okay now,_ Kakashi used sign language to signal Sasuke. Sasuke nodded and hurried off.

* * *

 _Sarutobi Hiruzen_

"I'd like to speak with Naruto privately, now," he said.

Kakashi nodded, and joined Sakura and Sasuke.

"Naruto," Hiruzen sighed, he took a long smoke out of his pipe. The smoke filled his lungs like a balloon, calming him down, letting him ease a little further down into his chair. He stared at the boy who had become so distant.

Naruto sat down in front of him, and pulled out his notebook.

"Kakashi told me you had been learning sign language, do you want to try?"

Naruto shook his head.

"The seal the Fourth Hokage created, it was meant to trigger during life endangering times. Was your life endangered?" Hiruzen asked.

Naruto shook his head.

"Do you know what provoked it?" the Hokage asked again.

Naruto paused for a moment, _I tried to rip the seal off._

"May I ask why?"

 _The Kyuubi told me it would just go away._

"What brought you out?"

 _Kakashi-sensei's voice._

"If you take that seal off, you're dead," Hiruzen said bluntly.

Naruto made a general expression of "oh," and then slunk into his chair. Hiruzen sighed again. Guilt crept through his heart, but the little amount was shattered easily, when Hiruzen reminded himself who the boy was.

"Naruto, I don't know if anyone's bothered to explain the concept of a Jinchuuriki to you," Hiruzen started, "Jinchuuriki means 'human sacrifice.' You are what this village has sacrificed to keep themselves safe from the grasp of the Kyuubi."

 _No one bothers explaining anything to me._

"The Fourth wanted you to be seen as a hero, since you are still protecting everyone from the danger it poses," Hiruzen said.

Naruto nodded, but didn't give away any sign that he cared.

"If you would like to," Hiruzen hesitated, would it be a good idea? He didn't know how happily they would take the news, "you can share your burden with your teammates."

Naruto nodded again, his eyes cast downwards. Hiruzen couldn't read his expression, "Okay, go back to your team."

Naruto slid the chair backwards, it screeched against the ground, and his soft footsteps echoed as he walked out of the room.

Hiruzen put his head in his hands, stared down at his wooden desk, and sighed. He didn't know what he was supposed to do about that boy. When the boy was young, he tried to be a grandpa, but his past four caretakers tried killing him in his sleep. When the first one tried, the Kyuubi protected his host's life, but caused a significant amount of damage. After that, he had ANBU on station, watching him 24/7. Three more caretakers were killed in the process of trying to kill him, the ANBU were quick with the job, but it was a lot more money than it was worth.

When Naruto was four years old, the Hokage offered for him to enroll into the academy. Naruto accepted gleefully, only to find that other kids stayed away from him. When he was five, Hiruzen decided to graduate Naruto from caretaker, and just had Naruto live alone in the apartment. It was less expensive, but ANBU still watched him.

Naruto cried to Hiruzen, the only figure in his life who seemed to care about him, he was only six years old "Why do they hate me?"

His caretakers, the other children, there was no one in his life who didn't _not_ hate him. Hiruzen said, "You'll understand when you're older."

Naruto dropped his hand to his side, looked down, and sulked away.

He held out seven fingers, "I'm seven," he had a cute lisp, "why do they hate me?"

"You're not old enough, Naruto," Hiruzen replied.

Naruto sulked. Hiruzen gave him a pot of basil for his birthday. Naruto fell in love.

Hiruzen stopped visiting so often. The boy was officially old enough to take care of himself in his eyes. Naruto survived. He continued surviving.

* * *

Age nine:

Jiji hasn't visited for two years.


	9. Run

**A/N: So as you guys can tell, sometimes I just do different styles of writing for different chapters. Let me know how you like it, if you don't like it, or if whatever. I like reading your reviews, they tell me how things are going with chapters and stuff. Any criticisms. I told my boyfriend to leave long criticisms (for previous chapters) but he ended up just saying yo this is good, and then not giving me any criticism. If you don't have any criticism, that's good too. I'm glad you like it that much. This chapter is kind of prose- tell me if you can understand/keep up with it. Thanks all.**

Chapter 9

Run

Akamaru smelled like dog. It was understandable. After all, Akamaru was a dog. But Kiba smelled like dog too. He wasn't a dog. That was unacceptable. At least that's what Sakura thought as she sat down next to Kiba. At least Shino smelled alright. But the fact that there were a million bugs running up and down underneath his coat, like beads against his skin, crawling around, living, swarming- it made her shudder.

She barely noticed when they got up.

Kurenai said, "Sakura, do you have that assignment for me?"

"The assignment is a little personal, sensei," she got up and trailed off after her teammates, on her way home. Kurenai stood alone in the training field, watching her every move. Sakura could feel her eyes bore into her back, like piercing daggers.

 _I failed to complete the assignment._

She didn't even say a proper good-bye to her sensei.

* * *

1.

He was a little shy when he was first introduced to the class, the black haired boy. Hi, my name is Sasuke.

Make sure you make Sasuke feel welcome.

He was years ahead of all of us, but he was humble about it. Everyone liked him. He was just a little shy. He had the right amount of attractiveness. He never missed a kunai.

Nice to meet you Sasuke, my name is Sakura

Sakura, that's a pretty name.

Heat flushed into my face, his eyes stared into my own- his eyelashes were so long. I like the name Sasuke too.

He smiled. We stacked rocks on top of each other. We drew lines in the sand. We tossed dirt into the air.

2.

The other girls approached.

Sasuke, why are you hanging out with her?

A thin line decorated his face. His face turned red. He didn't know what to say.

The other girls stuck their tongues out at me. Recess was over. We went back inside.

3.

Sasuke played with me anyways. He offered me tomatoes at lunch. I told him I didn't like tomatoes and gave him mine. He stuck his tongue out at me, and told me that's why the other girls didn't like me.

It hurt. But I realized it was a joke.

Sasuke, why do the other girls not like me though?

I don't know.

* * *

The assignment sat forlorn on her desk, like a piece of paper reminding her that she was worthless. She looked into the mirror, to stare at her empty eyes. They were so hollow, glazed over. Her cheekbones jutted out. She could see every one of her ribs. Her breasts were the only real remaining amount of fat on her body. They were undeveloped but they still had a soft layer.

She moved her hands down her body, touching her hips that stuck out a little too far. Down to her legs that were so skinny. She wrapped her hands around her knees and buried her head inside, looking into the darkness.

 _What is wrong with me?_ The assignment wouldn't stop sitting at her desk, taunting her. A piece of pen sat beside it, inviting her to read it again. She did. She read it, tore it up, and said, " _I hate Sasuke."_

She looked down at the shreds, and tears wouldn't stop falling down her face.

* * *

1.

Sasuke disappeared. Ino found me alone when he was gone. I was crying. The other girls had made fun of me again. Ino told me that my hair was beautiful, and my forehead was beautiful, and that there was nothing to worry about. I gave her a hug and thanked her. I told her she was amazing. She became my best friend.

Have a little confidence in yourself Sakura.

2.

Confidence. I smiled, the ribbon tied my hair back. My smile dazzled those girls that hated me. Take this. I'm happy. You're not.

3.

Ino told me she liked Sasuke. But she was worried about Sasuke. No one knew what happened. Until we heard that the Uchiha clan was wiped out. Sasuke? Is Sasuke alive? We asked.

Sasuke is alive.

He's the only one left.

* * *

Sakura zipped a hoodie around her, covering her head, and pulled baggy pants over her legs. No more dresses. No more. She opened the door and left. She didn't even say good-bye to her mother. She stepped into the stifling summer heat. It suffocated her, she was breathing warm water, it consumed her lungs.

She sat down at a ramen stand. A part of her knew Naruto liked ramen but she didn't know where it came from. She waited. She imagined Naruto coming up to her. She wanted to see him again. She wanted to apologize.

I'm sorry for everything I've done to you.

I'm so sorry.

But it didn't happen. No one showed up. She was alone.

* * *

1.

Sasuke came back.

Sasuke wouldn't look at her.

Sasuke wouldn't talk to her.

Sasuke sat down alone.

Sasuke glared at her.

Sasuke hated her.

Go away Sakura.

You're annoying.

2.

But aren't we friends?

3.

Ino left me too.

For Sasuke.

Who wouldn't even want to be close to her.

* * *

The old man at the ramen stand had a smile that cheered her up a little. "Young miss, what would you like? We've got all sorts of ramen here."

"Pork ramen please, thank you,"

His daughter trailed behind him, soft hair falling down to her back. It flowed as she moved around the kitchen. Her hips were wide, her face was full, but she was not fat. Is that beautiful?

Sakura stared down at the table, scratch marks decorated it. Another customer sat down next to her, but she didn't look up to see who it was.

"One pork ramen coming up," the girl in the kitchen said cheerily.

"Hello, Sakura."

Who was it?

Her eyes slowly trailed upwards and met his eyes. They were black.

Shikamaru had his ponytail pulled back close to the top of his head, it stuck out like branches, messy.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru muttered when he looked at her.

"What do you want?" Sakura asked. She didn't mean for her voice to sound cold, but it sounded worse than she thought.

"I passed by and saw your hair, figured I'd talk because that's what we should do, as former classmates and future teammates," Shikamaru replied. He glanced up at the father daughter combination, preparing ramen. They asked what he wanted, he shook his head and raised his hand.

They put a bowl of ramen in front of her. She started eating like she hadn't eaten in days. The sweet, salty mixture of pork and noodles, the soup, it was all so delicious.

"I'm here to be a good influence on you. I know it's troublesome, but I'm sick and tired of watching things fall apart before me," Shikamaru started rambling, "I'm glad you're eating again."

Sakura nodded, her mouth was full of noodles. Her stomach felt like it was going to shrink more if she didn't eat more.

"But I have a suggestion for you, and it's up to you to take it or not," he leaned further into his slouch, "I think it'd be a good idea for you to apologize to Sasuke."

She gulped down her noodles and stared at him. She really wished it were Naruto that sat down next to her, not some asshat who could read everything she was thinking. His eyes trailed lazily across hers. A sudden flush clouded his face, "Okay, well, that's it. I'm going now, good-bye."

Did he...

Did he like her?

No. That wasn't it. He asked her to apologize to her "crush." Maybe he was embarrassed that he had told her such a blunt statement.

She finished her bowl of ramen, and left money on the table. She hopped on the roof and started running across the roofs with intent and purpose, but she didn't actually know where she was going.

* * *

Their faces sort of blend into each other. Maybe I'm not looking hard enough. I feel like I've gone insane. Talking is just so much effort. It would be nice to take a knife and cut out the part of me that feels so empty. Slice into my head. Burn away my memories. Start fresh.

* * *

I have a regret. Something so far away that I can barely understand. What happened so long ago, on the playground, when the sun was shining down on our smooth skin, untarnished by worldly scars, in a sweet moment of harmony? I remember the feeling of mulch against my scabby knees, digging into my skin. But I was busy concentrating on the ground, sorting through my favorite pieces of mulch. I could hear the distant laughter of the other kids. They didn't like me.

Why didn't they like me? Oh right, I was weird. I had pink hair. And then someone pointed out I had a big forehead. I don't even have a big forehead. But I think that was worse than having pink hair.

My regret. I don't remember it.

* * *

Hollow cheekbones. Empty blue eyes. He was starving to death. Little birth marks decorated his cheeks like whiskers. Thin. His eyes bulged out a little, when he looked at me. His thin bony arms lifted to wave. Hi. How are you?

I'm fine.

How are you?

The smile he gave was so wide it could have split open his cheeks.

Oh right. That's it.

My regret.

Stay away from that boy, he's a troublemaker.

Okay mommy.

His face fell as I glanced around to look at him once last time.


	10. Worried

**A/N: First person! Also, sorry for the late update, I totally got writer's block after I forgot my charger on my computer for spring break. Any ideas I had before disappeared. We've reached 100 followers! 106 to be exact, but I was intending on posting as soon as I got 100. Obviously that didn't happen and I got 6 new sick groovy hip with the kids peeps to join in interest of this fic.**

Chapter 10

Worried

The back of my head felt like someone had poked a hole in and drained the contents of my brain. I pressed my head against the wall of the shower. Tears had fallen into the drain. There was a grip of victory at the same time. My father had to have _me_ submit the request of changing teams, he couldn't forcefully remove me. But to come home and have him just sit there, white eyes looking into mine, _demanding_ this of me- I just felt almost helpless.

I slathered shampoo into my hair, scrubbed it with my hands, scratching across my scalp with my fingernails. I let water run through it, falling to the soapy floor, making it slippery and bubbly.

I turned off the shower, grabbed a towel, and buried my face into it, resting my head for a moment. Every time I felt like I could stop thinking, my mind went back to Naruto. His chakra was pure fire, the kind of fire that looked beautiful for an instant before it burned you down. I still couldn't understand it. Kakashi didn't bother explaining anything. Neither Sasuke nor I bothered asking. We just walked away, we just walked home.

My whole body felt like it was burning up. I collapsed on the bed, still naked. My father knocked on the door when I felt myself drifting off.

"Hinata," his voice was cold and sharp compared to the warmth I was bathing in.

"One moment," I groaned, rolling off the bed. I pulled on clothes as fast as I could, and ran a comb through my hair, matting down any tangles or strays that stuck out or up. I opened the door, staring face to face with my father. He had a forlorn look on his face, as though he couldn't quite decide what to say, "What is it?" I ask.

"I don't know how to emphasize this more, but you need to... understand, there are things that not even I can comprehend, Hinata," he looked soft. My heart almost melted, I hadn't seen my father look like this since mother's funeral.

"Father," I said, tears welling into my eyes. I shouldn't cry now. He was trying to do this. He was trying to make me cry, he wanted me to show my weakness.

"The... Uzumaki is a dangerous teammate to have, he's prone to losing control like you saw, I know you saw it. I've felt that chakra before too, it's..." my father had never been at a loss for words before. My fists clenched. This wasn't my father. I didn't realize I was crying until I felt the warm tears fall down my cheeks, dripping to the ground.

"It's not your place to say! If he was dangerous, the Hokage would keep him in a cage!" My teeth were clenched, knuckles were white against the door frame. I closed the door on his face. Why of all times did he choose now to care about me? What right did he have in my life? He had done nothing for me.

I buried my face into my pillow, pressing my face against it. Tears dampened its face, I pressed harder and screamed into it. What on earth was wrong with him?

 _Hinata, I'm worried about you._

 _Hinata, Uzumaki is dangerous. I've felt that chakra._

 _Hinata, please do this for me._

You selfish bastard, you just want to control me. Every aspect of my life is yours. You keep me underneath your fist, pressing me down like a paper doll against a wooden desk. You drew me, you created me, but you don't know me.

This isn't your life.

For you? What do I owe you? You selfish bastard? You who call yourself my father? You who makes me call you my father? You're nothing to me. Had I not been your daughter, I would hate you with every fiber in my body.

But I can't hate you, I suppose. Since that one time, when we were little, and I touched your face and said, _Daddy, I love you_ , and you had a smile so happy that I loved you. Like I meant something to you, like my love meant something. Your face was big and smooth against my hand, and you bounced me in your lap just to make me laugh.

Even when I was three, you taught me how to properly hold kunai and shuriken without cutting myself. Even though mommy got mad at you and said I was too young, but you just said you were teaching, getting me used to it.

You told me there were dangerous and that I could kill people, but I didn't want to hurt anyone. You said it was okay to stand up against people who hurt my family or friends.

I guess it just went downhill after mommy died. You stopped holding my hand when we walked, and you told me I was destined to be a great heiress. You told me that I should think through things without letting emotion affect me. I guess it went downhill when you lost the next closest person to you, your brother, not even a year later.

I remember what it was like when I was kidnapped- at that moment. I could see through the mesh of the brown fabric, silhouettes and outlines, whispering to each other as they took me away. I remember that one silhouette that screamed, _Where is she?_

 _I closed my eyes. I was so scared. I heard screams._

The bag opened and there you were, your eyes were wide, your mouth lax. _Daddy, I was scared,_

 _It's okay Hinata, I'll be here for you._

But you weren't. You lost your brother. You stopped looking at me.

Is it my fault?

Was I so weak I couldn't defeat them?

It's my fault isn't it?

I'm sorry you lost your brother.

I guess it's all my fault.

* * *

It was quiet when I moved out. I was going to meet with my team again today. My father was nowhere to be seen.

"Excuse me, where's my father?" I asked a branch member who bowed to me as I walked by.

"He's gone to the Hokage's office," the branch member replied, bowing again.

I hated when they bowed to me. I felt so high up and official, but nothing about my actual self was high up and official.

I scrunched my face when they didn't stop bowing, "Thank you for telling me."

I hoped that implied dismissal.

I knew how I was supposed treat them, I didn't have to say thank you or excuse me, but branch members are humans too. They deserved respect.

The walk through Konoha was uneventful. When I reached the training ground, Sasuke and Naruto were already there, Kakashi nowhere to be found again. They were experimentally signing to each other in their sign language. I could barely understand it, only recognizing words here and there. Sasuke seemed to be asking what Naruto meant a lot, and on Naruto's notebook there were many random words.

Naruto was writing down whatever Sasuke didn't understand. Naruto seemed to pick up on sign language easily. Perhaps it was because he depended on it more than us.

"Hello," I muttered, sitting down next to them.

"Hello," Sasuke replied, just as quiet.

Kakashi chose this time to show up. Was I that late? I checked the time we promised- no, Kakashi was only four minuets late.

"Hello my cute little students, after thinking about it for a long time, I've decided that we should go on a c-ranked mission!"

He said this like it was the best thing I've ever heard in my entire life. Maybe it was. If it was c-ranked, maybe I could be out of the village for a while. We climbed up the tower to the mission's desk.

"Sir, are you positive I can't do anything?" I heard my father's voice as we approached the door.

"Again, Uzumaki is not a threat, I don't see why you're worrying so much,"

I slid open the door loudly, glaring at him. He glared back at me, and his eyes moved to Naruto, to Kakashi, and to Sasuke.

"Father," I bowed to him, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

He nodded to me, his face showing nothing but cold, restrained fury, "Hinata."

He brushed past me.

This was it. The thing I had control of. My own life.

* * *

We were to take a mission the next day. Protect some drunkard bridge builder who called me 'a little princess.' My glare shut him up. I knew people were afraid of my pupil-less white eyes. I was angry, I didn't want to put up with bullshit. I've had enough from my father.

When I was back in my house, my father stood up from his desk. He walked towards me and pulled the collar of my shirt, almost choking me. I stared up at him, losing energy in my body.

"You may choose your teammates, but there will come a time when they will betray you," his voice was soft, venom like. "Your death is your own fault, I'll have nothing to do with it. Now," he threw me backwards, I fell against the wall, pain shot up my elbows as they bumped.

He looked like a giant from where I sat, his shadow growing over my own, "I will not put up with the disrespect from you as I have had today. You've been nothing but a disappointment and dead weight. When you fought against your little sister, you didn't even use real Jyuuken."

I got up, he moved into his stance. I moved into my own.

"Stand strong, you're still a clan head. Next time you fight, you will win by skill and not by surprise. Don't think it'll be easy, I will tell Hanabi the same thing. The loser, as of nature of the clan, will be branded with a cage bird seal."

He rushed in, towards me, blow after blow landing on my head, sides, chest, stomach, pain shot through my nerves, my arms were up. I tried to block, but they just kept coming, hands. Hands that hurt. I fell backwards, onto my knees.

He towered over me. I looked up at him. The wood I sat on was smooth and dark brown, but cold.

I looked down at it, lines tracing up and down.

His foot into my stomach. I fell like a rag doll against the ground, looking up at him. His eyes were still white, cold.

"Get up."

Despite my body screaming, joints aching, blood tasting mouth, I moved. I got up. I stood in a defensive stance, brows knitted together.

"Good. Now stay up," he said. Instead of rushing at me like I expected him to, he walked away. He sat back down at his desk, pencil back in his ear.

I stared warily at him, then slowly walked away.


	11. I Want Blood on my Hands

**A/N: Thanks for all the positive feedback, even though I don't personally respond to your reviews I still read them and wanna respond and say yo thanks for telling me this. But that's a really pointless PM. So I'll tell you in an A/N instead and say, thanks for telling me all of this, it really encourages me to continue.**

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 **So this kid reviews my story, is a guest review, and here I'm gonna respond to them personally coz I have no other way of responding to them**

 **Libra-no-ninja9: It was implied at the beginning (of my fanfic) Hisashi was abusive. He has never been a caring but strict father. How did Hinata develop such awful self esteem issues in the manga? She stutters, she can't look at people in the eyes, she's unable to even fight back. He called her worthless. So I just took it a step further. He has always been abusive. I hardly changed who he is.**

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 _ **IMPORTANT NOTE: In the anime, Hinata's eyes are lavender. But in the manga, it's actually canon that they're white. I'm going with the manga, because lavender is too pretty of a color to be in this fanfic.**_

Chapter 11

I Want Blood on my Hands

Run away. Curse me. Hate me. Cling onto your pitiful life. You're worthless.

Worthless.

Itachi's red eyes glared into his own. Red eyes. His sharingan.

It was pathetic really, Naruto was so incredibly strong Sasuke crinkled his nose thinking about it. Naruto and his fire, creating a crater in the middle of the streets, claws sharp as knives, and slit eyes that gave no regard for human life. Sasuke had sent a fireball at him, because he saw Kakashi dying. He had been afraid for his sensei's life. He had been terrified for his own.

Seek revenge. One day you will stand before me with those eyes.

 _Those eyes you killed your best friend for._

Sasuke wished he had that power already. Fire. Disregard for human life. He wanted to kill, to know the feeling of what it would be like to murder someone out of cold blood. To "test his capacity." Like Itachi did.

But did he still stopped Naruto. He specifically threw a fireball at Kakashi because he had been afraid for the man that had so easily become a normal part of his life.

Kakashi was strong. He still lost to Naruto.

He sat alone outside the gates of Konoha. Normally Hinata would arrive before him. She was overly respectful and formal, so she'd always arrive as early as possible. He imagined what it would have been like had his family been alive to teach him proper clan manners. He already had a basic understanding, but since he was so little when they had died, he easily fell out of habits of bowing and over thankfulness.

The only time when Hinata broke her formality was yesterday, which was unusual for her. She must have been in a bad mood, because when Tazuna came in and said, "What a bunch of brats. Is that dainty little princess supposed to protect me?" She glared at him.

Hinata had the potential to be extremely intimidating. He noticed how people were generally afraid of the Hyuuga clan because people were unused to the eye color. Even if they had been around for generations, they kept mostly to themselves and their own clan estate, and hardly wandered out besides for missions. It had no effect on Sasuke since he was not at all afraid of her. But she had no pupil, her iris was almost whiter then her sclera. The only thing that defined her iris was a thin, black, limbal ring.

Sasuke looked up at the clouds, then back down at the gates that stood taller than a building. Hinata was walking towards him. He didn't say anything as she sat down next to him, she only looked at her hands. Her eyes had purple bags underneath them, indicating how much sleep she had gotten.

"Hi, Sasuke," she said. Her eyes focused on his feet. This was how they spoke. No eye contact, only intimidated glances at each other. With any other team he would say that "they're getting in my way," but with his current team, they cleared out of the way easily. It was much easier focusing on training and fighting when everyone was quietly performing their tasks. Besides, Hinata was almost on par with him in sparring. If she were more confident, she would be on his level. Though he hated to think about it, if she had more confidence she would probably be past his level.

That would be two people better than him. Naruto when he was a raging beast- whatever that meant to him. Hinata's potential. They both had one thing in common though, it was the word "potential." Sasuke knew better- Naruto could clearly not control whatever power it was that he had. That was worse than Hinata's potential by far. On the other hand, Hinata didn't have the personality to become more powerful. It was something Sasuke believed could be easily fixed, then he realized it probably wasn't. How easy was it to change his own personality?

Not easy.

"Hello," he replied, kicking his feet on the ground, spraying dirt up. Naruto showed up shortly after. Tazuna appeared, drinking from a beer bottle. The team sat together, Tazuna sat across from them. They waited for Kakashi, the one who was always late. It was irritating for Sasuke to watch his sensei be late almost daily, he was almost convinced he should come late at the same time, but there was an oddity: once in a while Kakashi would come on time or even early.

His teammates started motioning their hands at each other silently. Sasuke was paying attention, trying to discern their words without looking at their lips.

 _You look tired, did you get enough sleep?_ Naruto asked the question Sasuke wanted to ask, but Sasuke didn't want to feel like he was concerned for Hinata at all.

 _No, I didn't sleep very well. It's okay though, not a big deal,_ Hinata replied. Tazuna stared at them as they "spoke" to each other, he was unaccustomed to ninja ways. Sasuke had deduced it long before, the man still saw them as kids. Clearly he didn't know they were no more than human weapons.

Once Hinata and Naruto dug deeper into their conversation, Hinata was struggling to keep up with the language Naruto was using. His notebook came out, and Naruto started drawing hands beside each word. He was a decent artist, Sasuke noted. The hands were proportionate and realistic, not easily achieved unless you had natural born talent or loads of practice.

 _Do you draw?_ Sasuke intervened the conversation, a smile grew on Naruto's face. Tazuna was asleep on his bench, beer bottle loosely hanging out of his hand. His snores were gradually increasing in volume.

Naruto nodded enthusiastically. He showed Sasuke and Hinata a tiny doodle he had created in the top of another page, a picture of a naked man holding angel wings. It was only a doodle, but if he blew it up it would be a piece of art Sasuke could see being sold for millions. The drawing's jagged lines were messy, but stuck together boldly just to form enough of a picture.

 _That's incredible,_ Hinata gasped.

 _That is good artwork,_ Sasuke replied. Naruto started flipping through his pages, Sasuke saw glimpses of doodles here and there, but Naruto didn't stop flipping to show them anything. He slammed his notebook shut. They leaned back into their seats. Sasuke guessed that he didn't want to show them the rest of it, it might be embarrassing for him. As embarrassing as Sasuke's poetry stash hidden inside his drawer.

He fought down a blush thinking about it- but he couldn't bring it in his heart to throw it away. Even though he hated it, the "weak" and "useless" art, he was still overly attached to it.

"Good morning team," Kakashi hovered over them, the sun like a halo behind his hair, "how are my cute little students doing today?"

One thing Sasuke liked about Kakashi was the fact he never stopped using sign language. It was ten thousand times easier to understand Kakashi once he started. Kakashi mumbled his words a lot, he was so lazy he could hardly open his mouth to talk. Sometimes Sasuke would have to discern the mumbles in his head for a full minuet, and Kakashi never repeated himself. The mask muffled his words even more. How did he get about with daily life?

All three of them signed in unison, _morning._

Easier than talking.

"Okay that's fine, you don't have to talk," Kakashi sighed, looking up at the sky.

Tazuna's snores halted in their consistency, and his voice rumbled a bit. "Wha?" he asked sitting up.

"C'mon faithful client. It's time to embark on a journey!" Kakashi was too enthusiastic for Sasuke's taste in general though b . It was still better than Sakura. Sasuke shuddered thinking about Sakura. He hoisted the bag onto his shoulder, and they were off.

* * *

Birds, crickets, cicadas, and trees rustling filled their journey with noise. They team and their client walked silently in the direction they knew to be the Land of the Waves. Although there was no speaking, Tazuna did try to fill the silence with some words on occasion.

"How long have you been a team?" Tazuna asked.

"A couple of months," Kakashi replied.

Silence. Five minuets past.

"What's ninja life like?" Tazuna asked.

"Difficult," Kakashi replied.

Silence. Seven minuets pass.

"How about you, young miss? How long have you been a ninja?" Tazuna asked.

"I started training when I was five," Hinata replied.

"It must have been difficult," Tazuna said.

"Sorry sir, but that's what ninja do," Hinata said, but it didn't feel apologetic. Sorry. Thank you. Please. Hinata's voice was so common.

Silence. Twenty minuets pass.

"How about you?" Tazuna was directing at Sasuke.

"What about me?" Sasuke replied, glaring.

"Never mind," Tazuna replied, shuddering a little.

 _Sasuke don't scare our client,_ Kakashi stepped forward to sign to Sasuke.

 _He's being annoying,_ Sasuke pursed his lips.

Kakashi returned to the back. He didn't have anything else to say on the matter.

Silence. Thirty minuets pass.

"How about you blonde?" Tazuna asked.

Naruto stared at him.

And stared.

And stared.

Nothing.

"Okay," Tazuna took a swig of his beer. He took a sigh and looked up.

From behind Sasuke, two shadows appeared, wrapping chains around Kakashi enveloping him. In a bloody mess, Kakashi was shredded. Clothes, blood, bits of flesh clinging to the trees to the ground, a splatter in the center.

"One down," a voice deep like a growl whispered. They locked their eyes on Naruto, whose notebook had fallen to the ground. His jaw was shaking, lips pulled back in terror. They whispered _Kakashi_ , not knowing why he had died.

Their gauntlets reached out for Naruto, Sasuke moved before he even knew it, grabbing the chain linking between them, pinning it to the tree. He thought that'd trap them, but as he was about to kick their heads together, their chains disconnected from their gauntlets, and they ran back towards Naruto.

Sasuke immediately they weren't after Naruto when they ran towards him, it looked like they were going to run past him, and towards Tazuna. He was about to move, but Hinata got there before him. She was going to focus the right. Sasuke ran towards the one on the left-

Hinata ran forward, focusing down the one on the right as he predicted, slamming her hand into the enemy's unguarded chest, causing him to fall back to the ground, coughing. Her eyes were in their byakugan state, eyebrows furrowed as though she were extremely displeased with them.

The unharmed one turned around and yelled, "Brother!" Sasuke slid on the dirt, in front of Tazuna, he was going to apprehend the one on the left, but the enemy stopped in his tracks to look at his brother.

Kakashi grabbed the unharmed one, slamming him to the ground. They both laid down unconscious. He looked where Kakashi's "body" had been- a log took its place. The blood must have been a mere illusion. Sasuke had a feeling that he had stayed alive. There was no way a high ranking ninja like Kakashi could be taken down, though he had almost doubted himself. Without time to actually mourn, Sasuke had only moved on adrenaline and hadn't thought about it.

"Well, first off," Kakashi had a smile in his eye, "Sasuke congratulations in unlocking the sharingan."

Sasuke lifted a hand to his face, staring at the palm. Chakra coils ran through his fingers, they were bluish. He hadn't noticed.

No.

He had.

When he fought against Naruto, he had felt it unlock, but he hadn't known that was the feeling. Oh. This was the sharingan. A smile crept onto his face.

 _I'll be worth something. I'll unlock the sharingan. I'll best my brother,_

His hands held a kunai, sick, twisted, smile lifting up his cheeks. He slammed his kunai into one of the fallen enemy's chest, blood spurted out, seeping into the clothes, the ground.

"Sasuke what are you doing?" Kakashi yelled, but before he could finish his sentence completely, Sasuke had already killed the other one too. Blood covered his hands. Death he caused. Murder. Oh, yes. This was the feeling wasn't it?

He expected so much from it. But it didn't feel very good.

* * *

 **A/N: I know, at the beginning and end, author's notes everywhere. But I just wanna comment on something. I know in the canon Naruto isn't a good artist at all. He's a shit one in fact. But the art of sealing requires calligraphy, which is part of artwork, which both his parents were good at. If your parents are born musical, you're most likely musical. Same with art. Logically, Naruto should be a good artist.**

 **Who wants to see Sasuke write poetry? Oh wait you get no say. ;)**

Wishlist for Fanfiction

One thing I wish I could do is upload images to my story, like have a picture at the top of the page, or beside some text so I could demonstrate with drawings and stuff. Like a picture book. That'd be really cool. Picture book fanfiction. I don't know, I could upload this story elsewhere and get my own pictures and stuff, but it obviously needs gains in popularity to even consider creating some site for it. The worst fanfiction in history: My Immortal, has it's own website. People even drew comics about that piece of garbage. It's ironically hilarious. Or for example, that top running Harry Potter story, the Methods of Rationality has it's own website. But those only apply to fanfiction that get really popular- and I guess I'm asking to be popular in an indirect way, but for a totally different reason. I just want pictures on my fanfic. T_T


	12. What I Need

**A/N: 12 is my favorite number. I updated the summary to more aptly describe this fic. If you look in the reviews section you will notice my friends/family have obtained this fic and have demolished it. Made me laugh a lot, though none of them actually read the fic. Just the titles.**

 **I will skim over the section where Zabuza and Kakashi fight because it isn't important. It will start in the water prison.**

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Chapter 12

What I Need

Blood crept along the dirt path, flowing out, sinking in, staining the ground like rust; this time it was real. Not the illusion Kakashi had created, where he had been splattered both cloth and flesh; but it bled out slowly.

Sasuke's hands were still clutching the kunai, his hands were shaking. Tazuna's bottle fell limply onto the ground, his face had a mixture of awe and horror. Hinata's eyebrows were furrowed in worry. Kakashi didn't have any expression on his face.

"Well, there goes questioning these two ninja," Kakashi said as though he were commenting on the weather.

Naruto stared at Sasuke intently, trying to read the blank expression on his face. But there was nothing. Sasuke looked up at Kakashi slowly, neck slightly crooked. His sharingan was swirling. It faded into black.

"Now, Tazuna, you've got to explain yourself. As you can see, our team isn't so merciful," Kakashi was smiling. Nartuo slowly stepped back, and fell to his butt with a thud. There, next to him, a cold dead body.

"I-I..."

"What's going on, Kakashi-sensei?" Hinata spoke up, sparing Tazuna from speaking.

"Hinata!" Kakashi's voice was bubbly and cheerful, "good job on protecting Tazuna, priority is our client! Now why don't we ask our wonderful client why two chunin-level ninja were after him?"

Naruto turned his head towards the old drunken man, who's hands were held up defensively. His eyes were wide at the sight he had just seen. It wasn't a normal death, it was a death out of bloodlust. Sasuke's head was tilted down looking at the bodies, his expression a mixture of grief and confusion. Then he smiled a little, then it disappeared. It was such a slight expression that Kakashi and Hinata who were focused on Tazuna couldn't notice.

Naruto moved closer to Sasuke and hesitantly reached his hand out to touch Sasuke's wrist. His hands were still shaking. His wrist was slick with blood that wasn't his own. When Sasuke felt Naruto he looked up at him, their eyes met.

Sasuke's head turned towards Hinata and Kakashi, then back towards Naruto. They were talking about Tazuna's country. Naruto watched as Sasuke's red hands moved sluggishly, _I'm sorry._

Naruto pressed Sasuke's hands together and slowly moved his face closer to Sasuke's ear, his mouth opened to speak. There was no one watching now. No eyes around him to cling onto his words. He was allowed to say something right? Say something. Say something-

Naruto's mouth snapped shut. Not even a whisper could be heard. No words.

Naruto held Sasuke's hands, staring into his eyes for a second longer, then he dropped them.

 _They were going to die anyways,_ Naruto signed. What else was he supposed to say to comfort him? Sasuke nodded slowly.

"Alright my cute little students did you hear that? Tazuna lied to us," Kakashi smiled at their three blank expressions. Why is he so cheerful? Two people just died. Out of cold blood.

Tazuna looked down, ashamed, "Please. My grandson will miss me so much and cry if I die."

"Take a vote. Who wants to continue?" he asked.

No one raised their hands.

"Who wants to go back?" Kakashi repeated, sighing. He seemed to know all of Team Seven was indecisive.

No one raised their hands

"Actually, I think I would like to continue," Sasuke spoke up in a normal voice, steady and confident as always. It had the same snobbish tone all the teammates were used to him having.

"Why is that, Sasuke?" Kakashi asked, his tone never changing.

"We can fight stronger opponents," Sasuke stated simply.

"So we put you and your teammate's lives at risk so you can fight bigger badder people?"

Sasuke didn't speak.

"What do you think Hinata?"

Hinata looked down, then slowly spoke, "I think we should go back. But he said the economy couldn't even afford a b-rank mission, it isn't fair to just let him die."

"Naruto?"

Naruto gulped. He felt bad for being so useless in the previous fight. What did it mean to be a ninja?

He thought about when he was little, when he first enrolled into the ninja academy. It had first been hoping to find friends. Then he craved for acknowledgement. Now he was plain desperate. He just wanted something to do in life. He thought about being a hero too, someone who could lift up the Earth for weeks, or spin it in the opposite direction to save the love of his life.

Even if he played out those scenarios in his head a million times, he knew he was unrealistic. He knew he was dreaming above the stars, his mind was high but his body couldn't achieve anything.

He took a deep breath. Sasuke and Hinata were two people far above his level. He was only holding them back, making them learn something useless like sign language, that was all Naruto was good at. He was so determined to learn it. He learned to read lips quickly. He wanted to excel at one thing, but he knew eventually the two would catch up.

Why did he choose to be a ninja? What did it mean to him?

The answer was so far away, he had been so small when he first decided to become one. It was the life path he couldn't move from.

If he couldn't move he would have to try and excel. If he could not remember the reason, he would just have to learn a new reason.

He nodded at his team. _Even if I don't have a reason now, both my teammates want to continue. Just because I'm scared doesn't mean I should stop them from getting chances they had never known._

Hinata was in between, but he knew Sasuke would want to continue no matter what.

They continued walking forward, Naruto ignored Tazuna's words of thanks. He was getting annoying.

* * *

 _POV Spook_

* * *

He watched his master from the trees, watching the three children that were only his age shake in fear. Zabuza was fighting the one they called Sharingan no Kakashi, who was ranked S in the bingo books. Haku was confident his master would succeed, but even he knew it would be a difficult job. Haku was not oblivious. Kakashi was a threat. He pressed his mask firmly against his face and took a deep breath.

 _Live another day, please._

They raged in and out of battle, trickery and fowl play, all the things Haku knew a ninja to stand for. There- before he knew it his master had succeeded, capturing Kakashi in a water prison. He watched the three kids who started making unknown hand gestures- was that... sign language? They were having an entirely silent conversation.

Well, that's pretty good. But was one of them deaf? Or were all of them deaf? After thinking about it, he hadn't heard a single one speak. Kakashi, on the other hand, was yelling at them. He was telling them to run and save themselves.

Haku wondered if Zabuza would ever do the same for him. Of course, Haku would sacrifice himself needlessly, regardless of what Zabuza said or not. But he wondered, his heart fluttered to think, imagining Zabuza showing any hint of care at him.

He watched the blonde child form a hand seal and create shadow clones, each of them surrounding Zabuza's water clone. They fought like sluggish drunken men, sloppy and unrefined. Their punches were wide, stances were off, but there were a huge number all the same. They continued signing to each other while the clones fought.

It was frustrating to watch them sign to each other, because Haku didn't actually know sign language and he was positive Zabuza didn't either. Even if they did know sign language who is to say that they aren't using a different brand of sign language? If different countries had different ways of signing to each other, then what?

Haku didn't know.

Suddenly, a multiple shuriken came out of nowhere, flying towards the main Zabuza, but he easily dodged them. He laughed at their pitiful attempts. Whatever this plan of theirs was doing, it didn't seem to have much merit.

The black haired girl charged out of the clones, flying towards Zabuza at intense speed, her eyes glowing and veined, almost like they were popping out. Just as Zabuza reached up to block, she disappeared in a puff of smoke. Zabuza started speaking, "Hah, you think that feign is going to cause me to release this? You need much more-"

Then from underneath him, through the mass of clones, Haku hadn't noticed the black haired boy had been missing. From underneath the water, a giant fireball came up against Zabuza. How did he do the Gokyaku no Jutsu if there was no air to breathe? Zabuza was forced to leap out of the way.

Kakashi was released again.

Haku watched in anticipation. This looked like a losing fight. Kakashi was predicting the future. The sharingan seemed to have impossible powers, it was a wonder why the Uchiha clan was wiped. That ability was so powerful he doubted anyone would want it existing anymore.

He pulled out his needles, ready to deal the "finishing blow." And the time came. And he knew it would confuse the other students.

He tried to stay as polite as possible in order to leave as quickly as possible. and they let him. He grabbed a hold of his master, and disappeared.

When he came to a clearing, he pressed Zabuza's neck, pulling out the needles. When Zabuza's eyes fluttered a little, Haku whispered in his ear, "You should have let me fight with you. Zabuza, you can get really cocky sometimes, you know?"

"Shut up, Haku," he groaned.

They could have won and taken the money there. But Zabuza had insisted on fighting the Sharingan no Kakashi. He was always worried that one day Zabuza would go into a fight he couldn't win.


	13. Vengeance is not for the Weak

A/N: No, Naruto clones will not talk. Kage bunshin replicates the brain, which means he fights, feels, acts like the original.

AND IM BACK

This chapter is really late because 1. exams, 2. writer's block, 3. got a fat job with fat bucks at a fat factory we call GIANT ahahahaha jk they aren't fat bucks but you kno. GIANT? Get it? fat? hahahahahaha I'm so dead inside. Did I mention writer's block?

It took me a while to pump out this chapter because I had no idea what I wanted to do with it until I got a great idea.

This chapter with Inari- if you all know Inari is 8 years old, and I want to set this down before the chapter starts. These are all thoughts I had as an 8 year old child and maybe I led a depressing life but that's okay- the point is that an 8 year old is capable of having these thoughts.

I've also converted the cm to feet for the convenience of my American readers (I'm also American) and I wrote in cm for the convenience that WE SHOULD SWITCH TO THE METRIC SYSTEM *cough*

I'm starting to get an idea where I want each teammate to specialize in and I hope it's surprising but makes sense. Next, there's a lot of POV changes, but I won't be labeling them anymore. Hope you can figure them out.

I'm also sorry about the canon filler. I hate when people add too much canon.

 **When I say "God," I don't mean any particular religion, I'm not particularly adept at any Japanese gods, (only the Christian God), so just remember I'm not talking about any particular religion. I'm talking about the concept of a God. (Technically Masashi Kishimoto is the God of Naruto and I am the God of this fanfiction ;)**

* * *

Chapter 13

Vengeance is not for the Weak

Inari already knew the meaning of life. He was eight years old and one hundred twenty five centimeters (4 feet 1 inch); he already knew God was making a fool of them all. No one taught him the concept of God, it was simply one that existed that was generally accepted. Because the ninja had short lives, they needed the conciliation of knowing that there was an afterlife. A place with more peace and where all their dead comrades went. They wanted a place where their friends and family were.

For the civilians, God and Heaven was there for their family members who were ninja. God was someone to pray to when someone went out on a mission. Even merchants had a God. They prayed for safe trips and well being of their products and goods.t was all a private matter. The point was, someone had to put them there on this earth and give them chakra. So everyone knew there was a God. No one was sure which one it was, they just prayed to the great deity that put them there.

Well, Inari knew all about God and the stupid plans he had for the universe. The whole point was to sit and watch the silly earthlings suffer with all the other gods or angels, like children watching a puppet show. His struggle was a joke. His father was a joke. Gato was a joke, and finally, these ninja sitting at his table were a joke.

They were eating his mother's cooking. They weren't talking. They didn't understand what God was there for. God was the puppeteer, and if he could, he'd make more people suffer. Like these kids that were only four years older than him.

"I don't even know why you try, you're all going to die anyways," Inari pouted.

They stared at him, their eyes bore heavily into his own. He pulled his cap over his head and ran away. They were so stupid. All they could do was stare at him. The one with the white pupils looked scary though. She seemed like she'd even scare someone like Gato. Except she was only twelve. If his father couldn't defy fate, why could a bunch of twelve year olds defy fate?

There was no answer. The point was that God just wanted to see more suffering. It added drama and intensity for his audience. Those strings around the puppets' arms, he imagined he could take a pair of scissors and snip the strings off and they'd collapse like dolls.

Inari stopped to wonder what his real father would be like. If he was Inari's biological father, would that make him better than Kaiza? Inari shook his head, he barely knew his own father. Kaiza, on the other hand, was everyone's hero.

He stared at the picture sitting by his bed, a picture of the man who once tried to defy fate. The one whom he loved as a father, the only one who gave him any time of day.

He heard a knock at the door.

* * *

Inari's story was told to the silent teammates. Kaiza was a hero, and he died.

Sasuke tapped a kunai impatiently against the table, scratching the already worn top. The story made Sasuke sick to the gut. Not because Kaiza was a hero that died, or that Inari was left mourning the loss of his father, it was the fact that Inari had given up.

He looked at his other two teammates, they were staring mournfully at the ground imagining the rough life Inari must have been through. They were probably guilty or ashamed of hating the child in the moment he yelped back at him like a puppy whose tail had been stepped on. Sasuke had no qualms against hating the child.

"What a brat," he said aloud, but only loud enough that Hinata and Naruto could hear him. They looked at him surprised. Kakashi may have heard him but he was playing with his food, making smiley faces out of them.

He got up and left after Inari's room, wherever that was, where he could hear the crying and knocked.

No one answered.

Sasuke opened the door, "I know you're in here."

Inari clutched onto his picture of Kaiza, hugging it close to him. His hat drooped over his eyes.

"You look like a miserable puppy that's been abandoned in a dumpster," Sasuke glared hard at him.

"What? So what? You can't do anything," Inari looked more angry than sad at that point, wiping away his fallen tears. His face was red, cap askew, only a snarl decorated his face.

"Listen here," Sasuke grabbed onto Inari's collar, "you may think that it's impossible to kill Gato. You have already given up before you started. I have not. I won't be stopped. You know why?"

"Why?" Inari looked terrified. Sasuke supposed that look on Inari's face made Inari think that Sasuke was going to hit him or something.

"Because I haven't avenged my family yet," Sasuke threw Inari back. "I don't understand weaklings like you. Don't you ever want to do something? Don't you want to take revenge?"

"I do!" Inari snarled back, now Sasuke clearly wasn't in his face threatening him.

"Then why have you given up?"

"It's so impossible! Gato is so much stronger than..." Inari sighed, tears welling up, threatening to spill over.

"Inari," Sasuke said as calmly as possible, "There are many people who are too weak to even think about revenge." Sasuke was thinking about Naruto. The boy who lets people step on him, spit on him, call him names. The boy who thinks its better to disappear than get back at anyone.

"I think about revenge all the time," Inari protested.

"Oh yeah, and that's why you told us all to give up?" Sasuke asked. He was imagining Naruto growing claws and tearing apart anyone who got in his way, and anyone who once did harm to him. Sasuke got a shudder of satisfaction imagining that. He imagined Itachi's head on a silver platter being presented to him, eyes gouged out. He imagined stroking Itachi's long hair on his fallen head and calling him his weak brother who failed.

Sasuke was about to walk out the door when Inari ran out to tug on his leg.

"I want revenge. I really want revenge, too," Inari said. He looked up at the older boy, his eyes were watery but determined.

"Then I will try and present it to you on a silver platter," Sasuke replied.

Inari suppressed a shudder at Sasuke's wide eyed smile. It felt genuine, but reeked of insanity.

All that was left in his heart was revenge.

* * *

Kakashi brought excellent (or not so) news about Zabuza's survival and taught them how to climb trees. He sat at the bridge and recovered while the three of them struggled running up the trees.

Although Hinata achieved the exercise first and completed it, Sasuke learned shortly after.

Naruto on the other hand was trying his hardest not to let the team down. He worked all day just to master the tree climbing, with determination he knew both his teammates nor Kakashi had ever seen before.

Sweat trickled down his forehead as he tried again and again to run up the trees. His legs felt like they were failing him again. Burning muscles. What did it mean to be a ninja? Why did he begin?

He asked himself over and over as he pushed himself further up the tree, tearing through the bark with his kunai. All he wanted now was to not fall behind. He no longer wanted to burden anyone.

He fell down onto his back, looking up the tree that had been marked harshly from the ground up- to the top. He stared at the swaying trees and noticed the stars were distantly blinking in the sky. There was no one around to watch his slow demise where he knew less and less about himself. He wanted to cry but his tears had run dry crying about other things. He wanted to scream but his voice never worked.

But he succeeded. The tree was there, marked up. He made progress. Slowly but surely. Did it mean anything?

He didn't even notice that he fell asleep.

* * *

Haku briefly considered killing the whiskered boy in his sleep. There it was, he was gathering some herbs nice and easy for Zabuza. There he was, a boy no older than himself lying there like he didn't have a care in the world. Haku's hand threatened to creep up the boy's throat; Zabuza would be pleased. He had entertained the idea of killing for a long time, but since his father's death he had been a lot more careful about when he killed.

The boy was stirring. He woke up.

Blue eyes stared into Haku's face. Baggy eyes revealed his exhaustion; worry lines in his forehead; droopy cheeks; Haku felt like he knew that dead looking face. His hair had fallen over his headband, growing longer, spikier, less tamed.

"You'll catch a cold sleeping here," Haku said. The boy sat up, staring at Haku. He proceeded to pull out a tiny notebook and pencil from his kunai pouch.

 _Who are you? Thank you for waking me up. I'm Naruto._

"You can't speak?" Haku asked. He had been curious, watching the teammates sign to each other. Perhaps they all learned for this child.

Naruto nodded, confirming his answer.

"Well, I'm Haku," Haku proceeded to continue to gather the herbs. The introduced Naruto began helping out as well, to Haku's surprise. He seemed to know what kind of plants he was picking out.

They sat there laboriously pulling out the plants, yet it was soothing in itself.

Finally, Haku stopped him, and said, "Thank you for helping out."

 _I hope your friend feels better._

"I see you're a ninja," Haku said, more curious about the boy than he was about to let on.

Naruto nodded.

"Why did you decide to become ninja?"

Naruto stared at him, then slowly wrote down an answer.

 _I was wondering the same thing myself._

Haku closed his eyes, remembering when he first met Zabuza. The feeling of companionship. The reason why Haku trained so hard.

"Don't you think you should have a reason if you're going to sacrifice your life?" Haku asked.

 _You're right, I should. But my life doesn't really matter at the moment._

Haku stared down at the piece of paper, and Naruto's face stared blankly at Haku. The familiarity became clear. Haku, when he found himself alone for the first time, had those eyes. The boy who didn't know where he was going, what he was worth, why he existed.

"You truly mean it," Haku said, tired.

Naruto took a moment, then nodded.

"Than how about to your teammates? Does your life matter?"

Naruto sat there looking stumped, he didn't know how to respond.

 _I don't know._

"I believe that... people fight for the sake of others," Haku informed carefully, realizing he let it slip that he knew Naruto had teammates, "if you're going to be a ninja, maybe you could find someone to fight for."

Naruto's face brightened a little, like he understood Haku. He nodded eagerly then suddenly ran away. He ran back with a slip of paper, stuffing it into Haku's hands. Then ran off. Haku unwrinkled the paper.

 _Thank you._

 _P.S._

 _You're not fooling anyone with those sandals- shinobi-san._

Haku stared down at his feet, slapping his forehead. He forgot to change shoes.

Observant children.

He smirked and stuffed the paper into his kimono. Doesn't matter now anyways, the boy was gone and there was no valuable information given or taken. Though Haku might have accidentally motivated his enemy to become stronger.

* * *

 **A/N: Anyone ever notice in the manga most civilians wear flip flops or some shit, but shinobi have them sandals tho?**

 **... I know in the manga he wears flip flops just let me have control over this silly little ending line.**

 **Also read a great theory about why Haku is actually a girl. I will just stick to my pronouns though, despite me desperately wanting Haku to be a girl. (Balance of male and female man, I really like when there are an equal amount of male to female characters. Naruto has an overwhelming majority of male characters.) :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(**


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